Friends or more?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2006
Friends or more?
1
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 11:03pm

There's a guy I really like. We've known each other for a year and are really good friends. We work together, and talk and hang out every day.I've always been attracted to him, but never expected anything to happen. We've always been close and a few months ago, had a brief fling. There was definite chemistry there, I felt it and I know he did too. We got really close, too close too fast I think. We both agreed it was moving kind of fast!! Unfortunately, it didn't last long. It was bad timing because neither of us was ready for a serious relationship at the time. We had both just broken up with people a few months before.

A lot of things were said and done, and we grew apart. We are now finally getting back on track to how things were before we dated. I really thought I was over it. I accepted that we were "just friends," and would be fine with it now, except lately, he has been acting differently towards me, and the more I see him and talk to him, the more I realize that I still really like this guy and want something to happen between us again. He seems interested in me again too, but hasn't said anything about it. He's always around lately, talking to me, hanging on my every word, flirting, offering to get me lunch, etc., and he's always within a foot away, no matter what .. lol. If I moved at all, I'd probably knock him over ... lol. I've caught him staring a few times, and I know he's caught me .. lol. Even our mutual friends have noticed a difference in the way he has been acting around me, so they asked him and I about it. He denied it, but no one believes him, and I don't either. I think he might be "testing the waters" to see what I'll do, how I feel, and besides, he knows I would find out if he said anything about me, someone at work would tell me if they heard it (they love gossip ... lol).

I have had that butterfly feeling going on for the last two weeks, whenever he's around or I think of him. (Yes, he has THAT effect on me .. still). My gut feeling tells me that there is something going on with him, that something is going to happen, and it's driving me nuts. My gut feelings are usually right and it's making me very anxious right now. I want him. I can't get him out of my mind, but I don't want to push him away by making a move, if that's not what he really wants. But then, it's like, how will I know unless I try? I'd rather him make the move, but he's not the real aggressive type, especially if HE doesn't know. I need some advice .. quick!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-09-2006 - 3:00pm

crazy4virgo911..

Pianoguy read your post twice...and during the entire time, the song "FROM A DISTANCE" (by Bette Midler) was playing through his head.

My feeling is that the 2 of you have a "good working friendship interspersed with occasional relationship wishes!" In other words...you play nicely together on the job, but because of your earlier 'rebound thing'---a serious commitment to one another doesn't look very likely?

Hey...why not be bold and ask the man out for a sandwich after work? It's not going to be a date...just supper together after work? If he agrees...maybe the 2 of you can get your feelings for each other out into the open?

BUT...if he turns you down...find yourself a copy of "FROM A DISTANCE" and listen to it a few times. That song should give you a better idea of what the 2 of you actually have?

Pianoguy