friends or more?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
friends or more?
15
Sat, 07-31-2004 - 11:46pm
I recently (two months ago) met a man with whom I have become friends. We met through my son's school and began emailing each other and within a short amount of time the emails became quite regular (several a day) and phone calls soon followed. We have since been out together a handful of times and greatly enjoy each other's company.

We are both divorced parents and he has told me that he sees this as probably not being more than a friendship because of the children. However, while he says it's just a friendship he has put forth a tremendous amount of energy and attention towards me. He has gone out of his way to be there for me during some very heavy emotional times and has told me he "cares" for me. We talk about anything and everything and he has told me several personal things that he says he hasn't shared with others. There seems to be a physical attraction, though neither of us has made a move in that direction.

What I'm trying to understand is if his talk of friendship is simply a defense mechanism to avoid being hurt again or if a man can truly just have a close friendship with a woman and NOT have other feelings.

I should say here, as well, that I find myself having strong feelings for HIM...though I am unsure what to do about them at this point.

Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 2:42pm
Joanne, I feel the same way. All I want is to share my life with someone. I usually retain my patience, but some days....!!! Whenever I get that hopeless feeling, I say to myself: If Tammy Faye Bakker could find TWO men who would marry her, surely I can find ONE who will buy me dinner!!! That always cheers me up! lol

You go girl!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 2:43pm
I've had better luck contacting men I'm interested in than waiting for guys to contact me. Of the five men I've been involved with for any length of time that I met online, I made first contact with 4 of them. So you might consider writing to a bunch of guys whose profiles YOU find interesting...

And I hear ya on the not enjoying life without a partner thing...I'm trying to recast my thinking on that, because otherwise I get too depressed when I think about the strong possibility that I may well be single the rest of my life (I'm 45 and the dating pool seems pretty sparse). There's no question that I *want* a relationship and that my life is happiER when I'm in one, but I am doing all I can to make my life a happy and satisfying one without a romantic relationship, just in case!!!

Sheri


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 2:48pm
From your keyboard to God's ears, Pianoguy!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 4:10pm
LOL! That is definetly the way to think!

Thanks for the attitude adjustment. That one will keep me going for awhile! Until time goes on and I start to think..."HECK...how come Tammy Faye could get a man to marry her and I can't even GET a guy to buy me dinner...."

Oops...negative thinking.......gotta get rid of that!


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2004
Sun, 08-01-2004 - 4:13pm
Sheri,

Yup, I've been the initiator on a couple and guess what...NO REPLY!

I think the whole single mother thing scares most guys off and the fact that I'm not model material is probably another. Oh well...does the convent take those of us non-catholics? That's always a road...

:-)

Joanne

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