friends to ... ???? really need advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
friends to ... ???? really need advice!
2
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 5:12pm
hi,



I am very good friends with a guy who had started touching me more over the last week...

Quick overview of situation: met a guy who came out to my country from the UK, and since we met we have been pretty much inseparable, but although we fooled around after he had been here a couple weeks, he decided he didn't want a relationship and we have just been friends. He has told me he knows I'm fond of him (I'm actually in love with him) and all his friends and family have told him that we should be together, which annoyed him. So, have been friends for 18 months now... started losing weight a month or so ago, lost 15 pounds, weigh less now than when I first met him.



Well, we were going away this weekend to stay with some of my friends... I turn up at his place on friday night and we ended up having this conversation about how big my boobs are (PMS is a killer) and it was getting really flrty and he says... ooh, I'm horny... . Anyway, drive down there, go out, more touchy stuff and then we are sharing the same bed, which we do a bit and normally we don't touch or anything cause we are just friends. But this time he wraps his arms around me and is all snuggly and I think keen to do more perhaps. Anyway, he says "oh, I don't know what I want", to which I replied, I know!!! Then he goes on about how our relationship is weird and how it's maybe not fair on me... and then.. well, I fell asleep!



Next morning, same as usual, came back last night and things are back to normal except the touching has gone!



What is going on?



We have been friends for 18 months and we were only been intimate etc in the first few weeks when he was not sure about whether we should go out... since then we have been strictly friends so this is WAY out of the ordinary...



I'm like: so I'm an option now? He could actually maybe want to try being more than friends?



Am just going to keep losing weight and see what happens... but it is doing my head in.

Should I push the issue, and maybe lose him or just assume that if he thought like that the other day... maybe it will happen again or he will make up his mind?

Help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 5:18pm
If I wanted more than a friendship with a man I would expect that if he felt the same way he would ask me out on a proper date and if I felt that I had to lose weight to get him to be interested in me I would question why I would want to be in that situation in the first place. Sounds to me like he likes flirting with you and hooking up with you but he is not into you enough to put effort into making plans in advance to take you out on a date and get to know you in a dating context which is far different from friends, or friends who fool around.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 5:32pm

I don't think you want to see the writing on the wall - he was horny and wanted sex with you. If he wanted more, he wouldn't be confused! He KNOWS what you want but its not willing to give it to you. And he's right - its not fair to