FWB : Is it Ok to contact him
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FWB : Is it Ok to contact him
| Tue, 09-20-2005 - 4:01pm |
Hi
For the last 6 months I have been in a "friends with benefits" relationship, we had started dating originally but things got a little strange shortly after. The ex-girlfriend wanted him back and he got confused.
Anyway, long story short, they are now trying to work on the relationship and of course our FWB relationship is over or on hold whatever. He had said that he would like to keep in contact with me.
He is going away to play in a tournament this weekend, do you think it would be OK for me to call him and wish him luck, purely as a friend ?
Thanks guys I just need affirmation, I'm feeling so down at the moment 'cos I miss him so much.

obviously, his feelings for you were not strong enough for him to stay with you, and choose you, over his ex.
he is trying to get back together with his ex now, but wants to keep you around?
is anyone seeing something weird here, or is it just me?
looks like you are more invested in him, than he is in you. just my feeling.
are you happy for him, or were you broken when he left.
i don't know the dynamics.
wish him all the best for his relationship and get real. he is not there working on things "with" you. he is with someone else.
i personally think you should let him go, while you work on your own life.
you need to see people who are available. don't wait around for him. obviously, he didn't choose to wait for you. someone else came along, and he chose her.
you could talk to him, and clarify some things.
and it's for you both to decide whether you both want to be friends.
calling him to wish him luck for the tournament seems secondary to all the other major issues floating in the air.
"they are now trying to work on the relationship and of course our FWB relationship is over"
There is a big chance it will upset his girlfriend. Is that why you want to do it?
Hi
No I don't want to call him to upset the girlfriend, in fact she hasn't moved back in with him yet (they have kids, that's why he think he needs to give it another try)...anyway, it gets weirder, the girlfriend actually lives 2 doors down from me in my apartment block, so I know when she is at home.
He has only ever called me when she is not there and she does know about me.
Maybe I will just not contact him to wish him luck.
I don't know.
I do know that if he didn;t have the kids, he would have continued to date me.
Hello Foxy, your situation seems so similar to mine, the guy I was really into, kind of FWB too, chose his ex over me (because of the kids) about 8 months ago. I cut all communication with him and wished him well. He also wanted to remain friends, but I told him I could not do it, there was no use in hearing how happy he was in his relationship with his gf. I was sad for myself but still happy for him, because I cared so much I wanted him to be happy either with me or without me. So it was farewell for him then.
Well, now he broke up with his ex and is contacting me again, I am cautious, I want to remain friends with him as I don't know what his purpose is for getting in touch with me again, (booty call maybe?) As it is I still like him, I am happy to hear from him since I never really got over him and my emotions get the best of me when I'm talking to him. But see, I left him alone and he came back on his own, now I have to figure out if he wants me for something meaningful or just a hook up?? My pride got hurt a little since he "chose" her over me, just remember that. We deserve better, don't you think?
It would be detrimental to YOU to continue to be in contact with him, so it's not "ok" in that sense.
The only way to get over missing him is to work THROUGH the feelings with a period of no contact. If you contact him, you'll just set yourself back and start the cycle over again.
Sheri
Hi Hotkarina
Wow, that is exactly like my situation, can't believe it. Its so nice to know someone knows what I'm going through.
I have decided not to contact him at all, and just see what happens. I'm certainly not going to wait for him. I agree that if he does want me back I'll have to play it real cautious and I think take more control of the situation, 'cos in the past I think I was just his "booty call" as you say.
Thanks so much for your reply and I wish you all the best and hope things work out for you
Don't call. You know it's not purely as a friend. You miss this guy, you want him, you can't heal if you keep the contact up. Right now there isn't much "benefit" to
Thanks for the reply Sherry.
I haven't contacted him for a week now and I am not feeling as bad as I was before, although I obviously still long for him.
Oh, well. I guess its his loss and there's plenty more fish in the sea, as my mother says !
2 words,
DON'T CALL.