G-F wants to break up with me over sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2006
G-F wants to break up with me over sex.
4
Wed, 11-22-2006 - 4:47pm
Here is the issue... My g-f is hot and has a wonderful personality. I have never dated such a "high class" girl before. It makes me nervious and intiminated. When it comes to sex I have Performance Anxiety due to this she can't wait any longer for me to get over it so she is telling me I hvae little time before we are done. SHould I just take time off to figure and get over my Performance Anxiety? Or should I make up a false story and make it look like I messed up? Not sure what to do? But, this thing is ending.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2006
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 4:40pm

Wow, I'm sorry to hear that. If she is pressuring you over sex then she is not probably the right woman for you. Physical attraction slowly wanes after a period of time, what really matters is that if you think she can be your best friend, someone that can be there for you in times of highs and lows in your life.

Sure some women are a complete package but we are only human beings, we grow old, we can gain or lose a lot of weight just like men. Do not put that gf of yours in a pedestal, look at her just like a natural human being, I'm sure she has other insecurities and weaknesses as well. And keep reminding yourself what kind of attributes you have versus what you don't have. By looking at her as an equal partner I think you will overcome your anxiety. I hope that helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 11-24-2006 - 7:09pm

tchin21...

A quick question from Pianoguy:

Besides the S-E-X....is there anything else the 2 of you enjoy doing together?

Maybe you should 'total up the sum of the parts' (and not just the physical ones)? You might arrive at a decision a lot faster as to whether to continue dating her...or not?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-05-2006
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 8:54am
Ya know what tchin, two very different dynamics are going on here. On the one hand you are feeling intimidated by here, but, if she is your girlfriend than she was/is equally attracted to you, don't place her above you! On the other hand simply put she is pulling your strings with an ultimatim, start dancing now and you will always be dancing to her beat, not a mutual tune, but hers' alone.
I'm sorry but she may not be as beautiful on the inside as this sounds like manipulation, again by her clock alone, if a relationship doesn't feel good or easy than say Bye Bye.
Suzie
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 9:12pm
Her pressuring you is obviously adding to your performance anxiety - do you really want to date a girl who makes you so insecure and nervous. The person you're involved with should make you feel good about yourself, not the opposite.
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