Game or truth
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| Tue, 04-24-2007 - 1:49pm |
Hey Ya'll. I have been out of the dating game for about 6 years, and before that, I was pretty much a player myself. If i wanted a guy for one thing only, ahem... physical attraction, then I went and got it. I didn't want a relationship. But then I met my ex, in 2001. We hit it off from the very beginning. I was ready for a relationship then. We lasted a whopping 5.5 years with out even being engaged and did live together for about a year. I always felt very insecure because he had girlfriends and spoke to them often. Well, we called it quits mututally in December but talk everyday despite some peoples thought processes. At this moment, it seems to have helped me with out having to have him out of my life. Don't ask. But I have gone on a few dates ans at the beginning of March started talking to a new guy. He's great but he has alot going on in his life - honestly.
Background - Have known 'Bob' for about 3.5 years. His dad always wanted us to meet and the few times we did, there was definitely a skip in my heartbeat. I was alway with the ex when we saw each other though. THen i remembered him in March. I calle dhim at his work and his dad was excited to hear from me. "bob' called me back right away and hadnt' stopped calling since, even on his vacation fro a week he called every night. He even said that he wanted to get to know me from the first time we met but i was with my ex. He said that he could believe that we were hagning out, he would never have thought this. Through our conversations i learned of all the things he has going on right now. It is a lot. Building a house, sports 3 days a week, he lives an hour away, and family and friend issues all the time. He always remembered things i'd say and was totally into the things that i was doing. We hit it off. He told me what our kids names were going to be, which did freak me out a bit. But i can't help but feel that he was honest about his feelings with me. We did make one day a week our day and a few inbetween. we have seen each other about 10 times over this period. Enough for me as well since i still needed space from my ex.
Then out of the blue he didn't call for 3 days. Then I called him on the 4th. we had a normal conversation. Then at the end, he sais he wanted to talk about 'us'. Well i wanted to fall out of my seat. I didn't think of us as 'us. but ok. Then he said he is getting frustrated with his house and realizing that he hasn't been on schedule and needs to get that done. He couldn't see me right now. Then I said, I understood and I was in the same place to need my time still. I told him that I wished him luck and to not be a stranger. He then studdered and said, Oh no i won't, I still want to talk to you and hang out every couple weeks or so. I didn't know what to say at that point because I was already a little hurt, but I just kept saying, it's ok, i understand. Then i told him I needed to go and I'll talk to ya later and he said I'll call you back. I said, it's ok. and that was that. I didn't hear back from him lastnight. But i started exercising again and am going to get back into my routine before i started talking to him.
I am old fashioned, but I also Know how players are. Is he going to call? Did he really mean that he doesn't want to cut things off. I know at this moment he doesn't want me and I will date. But should I leave the book open with him? How does this work.

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Do what makes you feel good. When you say friends do you mean ending things on friendly terms so that if you should run into each other thingsarent' awkward or friends like still call each other and hang out?
It is always good to end things on friendly terms.
You valued the person who he portrayed himself to be to you. Do you feel (now that you know he went after your friend) that he was genuine or pretending to be someone who he knew you would like?
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