Gaydar on overdrive?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2005
Gaydar on overdrive?
3
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 8:54am

Alright everyone- I went on a second "official" and absolutely FANTASTIC date last night. This guy is an absolute gem, top notch gentleman, a real keeper, which is tough to find in your young thirties............................but I only have one concern.........

It was our second date and he did not make a move to kiss me- he seems kind of physically shy- but he's letting me take the lead. We did start holding hands, being affectionate etc. We sat in his car in front of my apartment for a short while talking when he dropped me off; he wasn't making ANY move to kiss me (he almost seemed really nervous) so I went in for the kill. He kissed me back very slowly, very sweetly, stroking my hair and my face (ahhhhh!) he seemed to like it once we got rolling. I'm just not used to making the first move, is that normal for a straight guy??

I can tell that we are both very moral; his guy friends said that he is not into casual sex (they tease him big time about it), just like me. It would be a LONG while before I would want to go any further with him physically. But I am a very passionate/sexual person once I am in a committed, monogomous realationship- that's for sure.

He seems awesome in every other way- I've just never in my life encountered a guy who was initially shy to kiss me.................

Any thoughts?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 10:21am
I find it highly interesting that your mind even went there, that he might not be a 'normal, straight guy'. There are some slow moving guys out there. My friend's husband never touched her for a long, long time. It turned out it was because he doesn't like to kiss.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2005
Mon, 08-01-2005 - 10:31am

AAHHHH! I couldn't deal with a guy who doesn't like to kiss either!! Yikes!!!

Ya know why "I went there"? Because my ex husband took a LONG time to be intimate with me, and once we were married her never wanted to be. Since we divorced, there had been a rumor, long ago, in his Police Department that he may be gay. "NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT". My ex-H is a great looking, macho manly man- just like my new guy.

Guess I'm paranoid???

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2005
Fri, 08-05-2005 - 4:46pm

Yep :) I'd say paranoid is a good word :P

A first kiss on the second date isn't uncommon. Yeah, some men move faster, but maybe this guy thought another date (or two) would have made things for comfortable for YOU. After all, he didn't pull away or anything - he even touched your face! I once dated a man who didn't kiss me on the first, second, third, fourth or even fifth date! I was totally confused, but he was far from gay. He later explained that he likes to build up the friendship before getting physical. It's just his way of doing things. And he was a perfect gentleman too! Definitely interested in me, just all about taking it easy.

So do yourself a favor, remove your gaydar, and enjoy the budding relationship with this great guy.