get him out of my head!
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get him out of my head!
| Thu, 04-15-2004 - 3:59pm |
Ok, i need help!! i feel like i'm always in this kind of situation. first i met a great guy, who seems interested in me, and we hit it off really great. he is such such a great guy and really liked to be around me and looked forward to see me (which every girl loves) i felt like i was the person he looked forward to seeing each day. here's the problem, he had/has a girlfriend when we found ourselves getting really into eachother... and even tho my mind was screaming at me to back off and stay away from this situation, my heart always gets the better of me... and i gave in to his gorgeous smile and his contagious laugh. we had such a great time together, we would meet at this little park and just sit and talk, and then after a while we held hands, and then, finally, he kissed me. i know i know.. he has a girlfriend, and i knew i would get hurt... the whole time i'm telling myself to just tell him that i couldn't take this anywhere until he was single.. but the more time we spent together.. the more i didn't want to give him up. i would see him at school walking w/ his girlfriend.. and he'd smile so big at me when we passed... of course it hurt me to see them together.. but we would always run into eachother and he'd leave me notes and he couldn't go a day w/ talking to... even if it meant he called me and left me a messege on my phone, and vice versa.. we just had so much fun, and it was even more special b/c my last relationship ended badly and i didn't think i could really trust another guy... he is just so wonderful and would always tell me that he wished he had the guts to break up w/ his g/f... but he has been w/ her almost 3 years, and he didn't want ot hurt her, (i know i know, obviously he's hurting her more by cheating on her w/ me) how stupid was i?? its so easy to see now.. and i knew it then... i just didn't want to admit it. anyway, now things have gotten better w/ his g/f, and i find myself being pushed away, and the daily phone calls, messeges, and notes slowed down, and eventually stopped... all in all... he is over me, and i'm still stuck on him. you have to understand that i get attached to someone so easily.. and i HATE IT... i am having such a hard time getting him out of my head... all i can think about was how he used to be so focused on me when we would talk and the way he touched my face when he kissed me, and how he always had such a hard time letting me go when we would have to leave eachother... i want to call him all the time, but i don't... i know i can't. i find myself leaving my phone on all the time just in case he calls.. i'm hoping to see him wherever i go... how pathetic do i sound? please tell me someone else has felt this way and that i'm not a stalker.. haha... is this normal? how do i get over him.. why am i making such a big deal out of this? i don't want to feel this way for him anymore.. i want to be able to see him and not want to run up and kiss him! its so frustrating cause i know that i shouldn't be this into him.. but i dont' know how to help it. please give me some advice.. people say just give it time, but it feels like w/ the more time that goes by.. the harder it is! why am i so dependant on relationships w/ guys? why can't i just be fine w/ being single.

Time tends to heal all wounds, but I have to admit, you can also waver over time. You may go a month and not really think about him but then one day you see him and it sends all the feelings flooding back.
My only advice to be honest - is find someone else. IT is hard - because you will compare to this guy and how this guy makes you feel.. you will want someone that makes you feel that happy. It takes time, obviously;... in the meantime it might be good to just date anyone to get your mind off him. I know that doesn't always work - so it's only one idea. The other is to take up a hobby of some kind - I find getting more into fitness really helps take out your frustrations, in a good way. People say to just remove any thoughts as they pop into your head... this is easier said than done as well... but can help sometimes. I am so bad, I keep voice mails from them so I can hear their voice. It's terrible.. I know, but I'm such a romantic. I want to find a guy who feels that way about me forever as I'm sure you do.
good luck!!!
I don't think this guy sounds "wonderful" at all. He has a girlfriend and yet he was sneaking around and making out with you? How do you think his girlfriend would feel if she knew he was strolling through the park, kissing, calling you up and saying sweet things to you? How would YOU like it if someone did that behind your back?
And I think it sounds pretty sick that you have to see him walking hand-in-hand with his girlfriend, and that he has the nerve to SMILE at you. yuck. I don't know how you stood it.
And to make matters worse, when he's sure you are completely ga-ga over him, he totally goes cold on you and pushes you away.
You might think this relationship was something that "just happened," but this guy does not sound like an amateur to me. I would not be surprised if he has cheated on his girlfriend before. I feel sorry for her. You should count yourself lucky that it's NOT you. Because I'm willing to bet that you would be experiencing a far deeper kind of pain and loneliness if you were in her shoes.
Don't romanticize this guy. He's not innocent... and I know he's not the devil, either. He just sounds like a jerk who likes to play with women's emotions (ego-boost) He's certainly not worth all the energy and time you are putting into thinking about him.
honey
all i can say is, stay strong. i know we can get over this. God must have some kind of plan for us.