Getting the guy, help!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2011
Getting the guy, help!!
5
Thu, 09-26-2013 - 3:45pm

Hi everybody. It has been a year since I asked for advice on how to be more flirty with guys and attract them, and it really helped me cause I think I 've boosted my confidence and got some guys too, even if nothing serious. I am an endlessly romantic person and I have always wanted to find something true, a guy that I would truly like and share my life with ( I am not the kind of party animal or ''having many friends'' person, so what I want is a real relationship to complete my cosy life). The good thing is, I have a friend since a year ago for who I have strong feelings and I think he likes me too. He is not the kind of experienced guy, he is shy but we match a lot, we have spent hours and hours talking about everything ( we are both the brainy type of person) and have travelled together, let's say that we have spent wonderful time together, and I am sure he has appreciated too. Since some time I think he has been flirty towards me, he grabs my hand often, hugs me a lot, say how much he appreciates me and some friends have seen these signs and are wondering if we are dating. Of course I can not tell with certainty how he feels, but I am strong enough and I have some signs to make the first step, and that's where I want advice! Shall I tell him with words? What to say and how to not make him uncomfortable? I have also been thinking to kiss him, but I don't know what excuse I shall use to get so close to him! I have never done this before, and it is the first time that I am thinking about really getting the guy, since all guys I have dated made the first move but I didn't really like them....Another thing is, we are very flirty when within a group of friends, but when just the two of us, it's really uncomfortable so that's a big step to make! Has anyone been there before and has good advice? or know a similar story and can help me? What do you think is the best thing to do? If anyone can help that would be great...:)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 09-26-2013 - 10:53pm

I think this is always hard but I also think the only way to find out how he feels is to ask him when you're alone.  Just something like "do you think you could have romantic feelings for me or do you feel that you just want to be friends?"

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Fri, 09-27-2013 - 8:04am

Aww, I think this is cute. 

I've never been in this situation exactly, but I have a friend who was, and she says she just kissed him one night, and their romantic relationship began.

I'm thinking that the next time he takes your hand or hugs you, you might want to just kiss him. Don't ask, just do it. You could possibly help this along by suggesting an activity that would be more on the romantic side, something that would set the stage more. You don't need to say that's what you're doing.

If all of that is too much for you, you could just ramp up your flirtiness (is that a word?) more when you're around him. You could also take his hand. I don't advocate drinking a lot, but perhaps a glass of wine first might give you a little courage in these endeavors.

Good luck--let us know how it goes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2011
Sat, 09-28-2013 - 6:45am

Thank you :) this is helpful 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-02-2003
Mon, 10-14-2013 - 5:33pm

When a guy seems hesitant to make the first move, I  start with a goodbye or hello hug, then a goodbye or hello kiss on the cheek, then a goodbye or hello kiss right next to the mouth, then a goodbye or hello kiss right on the mouth.

If he hasn't figured it out by then I usually give up.

I'm dating a guy like this now.  Lucky for him he figured it out in three steps instead of four.  He's really sweet, but....

But  Honestly, I really prefer the kind of guy who will just grab my boob or plant a big kiss and let me know for sure.  I really don't know if a guy who isn't confident about what he wants is the guy for me.

sooooobig
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2011
Sun, 10-20-2013 - 5:46am
You seem pretty confident...it's funny, I can kiss or grab hands when we are with a group of friends (he gets really flirty then) but when it's just just the two of us, I just can't...he often starts making long long talks about anything, it's just impossible to get flirty...