Getting Her From Interested to In Love
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Getting Her From Interested to In Love
| Fri, 03-05-2004 - 10:55am |
I've been dating for 4 years in Chicago without much luck in meeting the "right" woman until recently. I'm a 35 year old professional, Christian, and generally happy guy. Well, I met this woman who is fantastic. We've been dating a little over a month. Yesterday I asked her if she wanted to date exclusively and she said "yes".
Here's the deal and my concern: I'm so pumped about this girl I don't want to smother her. If I had my way I'd see her every day and shower her with affection. Simply, this girl is fantastic. Now, that much affection could easily be a turnoff, as I realise everyone needs space, so I'm playing it cooler than that.
I need advice on this. While I continue to talk kindly to her and hold her hand and give her nice affectionate gifts, I'm wondering if I should just chill out, or continue to go for it.
She's 32 and an athletic trainer. I think she digs the triathon guy type but she doesn't like the fact that they can be unreliable. I've been focusing on my career over the past 5 years and making sure I'm a good provider, I'm wondering if I should begin to focus on my athletic skills (as my career is now stable) or should I continue to tout my career strengths?!!
Basically, I need help from an older sister type!!
Here's the deal and my concern: I'm so pumped about this girl I don't want to smother her. If I had my way I'd see her every day and shower her with affection. Simply, this girl is fantastic. Now, that much affection could easily be a turnoff, as I realise everyone needs space, so I'm playing it cooler than that.
I need advice on this. While I continue to talk kindly to her and hold her hand and give her nice affectionate gifts, I'm wondering if I should just chill out, or continue to go for it.
She's 32 and an athletic trainer. I think she digs the triathon guy type but she doesn't like the fact that they can be unreliable. I've been focusing on my career over the past 5 years and making sure I'm a good provider, I'm wondering if I should begin to focus on my athletic skills (as my career is now stable) or should I continue to tout my career strengths?!!
Basically, I need help from an older sister type!!

I wouldn't be "touting" anything!
I appreciate the advice and I will take it.. a day at a time.. showing her myself and my strengths, not changing my interests to keep hers.
Thanks for your input.
The gifts have been gifts of affection, not love. I sent her flowers twice (once on Valentine's Day) and after we had been dating a month I bought her a necklace with a gold cross on it, very humble necklace ($100).
She has given me books. 1) As for Me and My House (about how to build a strong marriage). This gift obviously surprised me, but we talked about it the first night we met and she gave it to me a few weeks later. 2) In a Sunburned Country (about travels in Australia).
I tend to pay when we are on dates, mainly because I want to, but also because she makes only $10 an hour and I make about $100k per year. She sometimes buys the popcorn and soda at movies.
If you are making 5x what she makes, you needn't worry about paying for dates. It's sweet that she buys popcorn.
If you're 35, it wouldn't hurt to start working out. You're at the age where a lot of men really start to let themselves go. And it sounds like you're a bit insecure about the triathlon types. Working out and doing aerobic training would not only be good for you, they'd probably make you feel better about this aspect of your life. You sound like a good guy who has most of what really counts. A little muscle tone doesn't hurt, though.
Yes, you are probably right, a tinge of insecurity about the triathon types. That's a personal issue that I'll deal with. I'm in very good shape, but.. not to that level nor do I have the time to get to that level (or desire).
We met up last night and she really opened up to me. She is showing affection that she was timid to show before.
I appreciate your response. If anything, I'm guilty of worry, which is probably a natural response to someone so special.. but worry must give in to trust.. or, what's the point?
God Bless.