getting on with it

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
getting on with it
5
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 12:07pm
Hi, ive been seeing someone for six months and am so crazy about him and love him. he says he loves being with me, although hasnt said anything about love, i see him on the weekend thats the only time i can as he has two kids and they stay with there mom then, sometimes though i dont get to see him for a couple of weeks and feel so sad and upset about not seeing him, i find myself wishing my days away wanting them to be over i know thats not a good thing and that i should be making the most of every day, we text each other every day and phone a lot too but it doesnt stop me from feeling the way i do.

i havent met his kids yet and he hasnt told them about me either, i would like to and have asked him about it and he says he will do when hes ready, he likes to take things slow but the way i feel about him i really struggle with that.i guess if we both have kids then things arent easy but i would go out of my way to arrange some way to see him instead of waiting for two weeks. do other people out there struggle with this kind of thing or does it mean that i am just weak? i dont want to feel so sad all the time, i am so happy and feel so high when i do see him, if i have tears in my eyes just before leaving then it makes me wonder how people coped in the war going for god knows how long, am i just weak and pathetic over love?

sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Sun, 06-20-2004 - 2:27pm
This is a tough situation. Do you talk to each other when you aren't together? Regular phone calls or emails? Does he express his feelings about how he feels about you? Saying I love you after 6 months might be a bit quick. You love him, but sometimes it take people longer then 6 months. Sometimes a person wants to make certain that the person they are with is the "right" person. From what you have written, it sounds to me that this man is very protective of his children and doesn't want to let someone into their lives unless he is certain that person is going to be in their lives for a very long time. He obviously take his committment to fatherhood very seriously. Give it more time. But, that doesn't mean you have to keep your feelings quiet. Let him know how you feel about him. If you feel that you truly love him, let him know. But, please don't sit around feeling sad all the time. I'm speaking from experience, keep yourself busy, go out with friends, anything to keep your mind occupied. Sitting around and thinking about him all the time, wondering what he's doing and what he's thinking will drive you crazy. You seem to be insecure about where the relationship is going. But, you need to open up with him. Ask him how he feels about you and how he feels about the relationsihp, is it going anywhere. But, if he says that he just really believes in taking things slow, respect that. Six months really isn't that long.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 12:48pm
Thankyou for your reply,

i know i have to do something cant let myself get miserable for two weeks, just that when i am with him i am so happy more than i have ever been. yes we speak on the phone a lot and text each other every day but it doesnt stop me wishing i was there with him, the time seems to go really slow for me, i have one child at school and the other who is three is due to start nursery in september, i really want to go back to work and find something to keep me really busy and more fullfilled, i guess i just have too much time on my hands to think too much, i really need to be happy in myself instead of just being happy because of another person, maybe two weeks wouldnt feel like so long if i felt content with the rest of my life so i will do whatever i can to fix that.

sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 11:24am
Sounds like his schedule doesnt allow for more.
Lilypie Baby Days

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 12:16pm
thanks for your reply, im doing my best to keep busy and will jusy have to get used to it for a bit, but its not easy when my mind keeps wandering, everytime im having a nice time i wish he was here to share it with me, how long do you have to go without seeing your partner? did you really struggle with it at first? just as i get used to him not being there then i get to see him am so happy for a couple of days then miss him all over again, i just tell myself to look at the bigger picture and that things will get easier in the future and in the summer holidays when i can see him more often.

sarah

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Tue, 06-22-2004 - 12:27pm
We've gone as long as five weeks and I struggle with it every day.

Lilypie Baby Days