Getting So Discouraged and Frustrated

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2006
Getting So Discouraged and Frustrated
5
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 8:24am

I guess i'm just here to vent and see if anyone else is feeling the same way I am or has ever felt this way. I just turned 30 years old and basically my situation is that all of my friends have someone and arent into the whole "going out" scene anymore. Also, none of them know anyone to try and introduce me to. Eveyone is always saying "you're such a great person and you're so pretty, how come you're single?" well, the answer is I DONT KNOW! I know it's hard with my limited way of meeting people (i'm kind of limited to online dating because of my situation) but i'm having no luck with this avenue either. And the even more disheartening thing is EVERY ONE of my friends has someone. Even the guys. I'm the only single one. I've been single for a year now (some of that by choice) but now i'm ready to meet someone to be with and it just seems I have absolutely no luck in this department and i'm getting so discouraged and frustrated now, sometimes I just want to cry. And I kind of feel like i'm getting older and time is sort of running out you know? I mean, I know 30 is not old, but you know what I mean. So basically i'm stuck with online dating, i've tried every way on here pretty much, and had no luck. I dont know what to do anymore. I almost feel like i'm never going to meet anyone. Have any of you felt like this ever?? What do you do? Does anyone have any suggestions or words that might shed a different light on this?

Thanks
~J

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2006
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 10:09am
Keep your chin up and don't give up. There's a great guy out there for you. Sorry, I can't offer any more words of wisdom but just know lots of people are facing this dilemma. You're not the only one, trust me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 7:26pm
BOY do I know how you feel! I'm a few years younger than you but I've been single (w/ some casual dates here and there) for a year and a half. I feel like there is no hope, and I'll be the old lady sitting on her porch with all the cats around her. :p But I completely understand what you're going through... and the whole friends thing... my friends are like oh, you're so pretty and fun and educated blah blah blah, but has that gotten me any 'SUCCESSFUL' dates? Nope! I've even had guys tell me this... uhhh, still does not do me any good! To throw in a tiny pity party for myself, this is how bleak my dating future looks: I'm in graduate school where 99% of the class is female (I'm not joking - I have a maximum of 2 guys in any given class, sometimes none!) and I am a piano teacher... which means I work out of my own home. So the whole meeting guys thing? Probably not so bright. Sorry. I ramble. :) Anywhoots keep your chin up and I'll do the same... and hopefully we'll find what we're looking for. :)
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 10-12-2006 - 7:35pm

What is your "situation" that limits you to online dating? Not that it's a bad route to take but it should be one of several avenues you use, IMO.

Once you've clarified I'll respond further.

And yes, I've felt that way since I was about 39...when my last LTR ended. Now I'm 48. I've had a number of short-term relationships but haven't found someone who is right for me for the long run yet. It is frustrating, at any age.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2005
Fri, 10-13-2006 - 12:40am
i relate to your situation also. It's been 3 years since i've had a serious relationship. Ive had short term RL's, but just cant seem to find someone that i click with. I've been doing online dating for almost 2 months now and i'm not sure how i feel about it...i have found that people dont look/seem the same as they did in their pic or profile...but i have little opportunity to get out there in real world and meet people. Theres' no one at work, no one at school (all girls in my class) no one at the gym (well no one hits me anyways) and my friends are all coupled up so they barely go out...i had higher hopes for online dating i guess...not that i'd find someone right away...but i am just not that into anyone that i've gone out with nor am i impressed with the people who have contacted me and i have contacted a few people who havent written back. I dont think they were out of my league or anything, but maybe i'm wrong...all i know is that i do sometimes feel like i will be alone forever. I refuse to settle for someone who i dont feel passionate about...it's been a while since i felt like that about anyone ):
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2005
Sat, 10-14-2006 - 2:24pm

I'm in the same boat as you.