A Girl That Needs Closure !!HELP!!!
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A Girl That Needs Closure !!HELP!!!
| Wed, 11-03-2004 - 9:59pm |
SO what do you do When A person you have been with for 3 years dumps you cause he says your needy and cant handle your life? After you got laid off ...
Then any conversations after the breakup are horrible ? Meaning He acts like I did something when I have done nothing?? I am treated like I ruined his life and I broke up with him!
Can someone answer me???
Then any conversations after the breakup are horrible ? Meaning He acts like I did something when I have done nothing?? I am treated like I ruined his life and I broke up with him!
Can someone answer me???

If someone is making you feel badly when they talk to you, then why continue talking to him. He has his reasons for breaking up with you, no matter if you agree with them or not.
Next time he calls say "You broke up with me I'd appreciate it if you stop calling now"
Continuing to take his phone calls and listen to his excuses and reasons is only hurting you so break the cycle and don't put yourself in that predicament anymore. You show people how to treat you, if you continue to allow this behavior he'll keep doing it.
Closure is something you give yourself, you don't get it from anyone else.
You're saying that you got laid off (not your fault but it still means you must do something in regard to finding another job obviously) and you continue to call him...for waht? Support, comfort.
And he's being rude or withdrawn and unavailable....why? Because he told you that your life is a mess according to him, and he broke up with you becausehe oesn't respect or admire how you conduct your life. You're calling him telling him how horrible your life is - he already KNOWS that better than you - and he already knows he can't fix and has indicated he wants no part of it whatsoever.
he's not "treating you mean because of the breakup" - he's sick and tired of being the shoulder you cry on and the comfort that you rely on. And he broke up with you because of that, and he is probably now completely shocked that you stll consider him to someone that you can vent to, cry to, complain to or rely on in any way.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
Do you have anyone else to talk to, like a parent, a sibling, a friend? I suggest that you let him go, stop all contact, and reach out to other people. A church or some sort of spiritual guidance might be helpful. You could also journal or meditate.
Through reaching out to others, you just might find another job. It does not sound like your ex is helping you to feel safe, much less helping you with your job search.
At the very least, take care of yourself.
A~
Closure is a big thing that lingers I still have resentment and anger towards him for the way he chose to end the relationship he did it over the phone and didnt tell me why I heard about it from his sister..
I know I will never get the closure I deserve but still It bothers me sometimes..I guess that is what my question is .. how do you get closure for yourself nowing you'll never get it from the person that hurt you.
I don't talk to him anymore I guess I was talking about past on how he
talked to me and wondering how someone can be so cruel it's been 6 months
and I have picked myself up the closure that I want is for me to do only
I know he will never do it for me he doesnt think he did anything wrong..
I love your name by the way.. When we first brokeup I was Like when is
this jerk gonna get his karma but I am past that .. he will get it one day
for everything he has put me thru and believe me it was alot !! thanks for the words..
I have picked my self up without him I have a job now I guess what I was mainly getting at before all this is how a man can be so cruel to a woman that did everything for him ..
The closure I need I know will never be from him it is what I need to do for myself to get thru this forget all my anger and resentment towards him and move on!