Give Him Another Chance?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2006
Give Him Another Chance?
2
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 2:53pm

I need some opinions.

I started dating this guy a few months back and about a month ago we finally called it quits after some miscommunication on both of our parts. He continually shut me out which caused me to just give up and become frustrated. The other day I received a phone call from him and we met up for lunch. During our lunch he apologized on multiple occasions for being a "jerk" and explained to me how he had a lot less on his plate with work and school now; pretty much all that was stressing him before has lifted. Later in the conversation he proceeded to tell me how he missed me, missed me being around, that he couldn't think of anyone else he would want to be with and would like to take things slow but give the relationship another try.

Now I am confused because I am fearful he will turn around and tell me he can't be with me again. I am unsure if I should give him another chance and take that risk or put up a wall and just keep him out for good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2005
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 3:08pm
I'd communicate exactly what you wrote here. You like him too, but you're concerned about what might happen the next time he gets overwhelmed and stressed with work/school. Tell him that you need some assurance that he'll deal differently next time. Everyone has stress in their lives so stress isn't an excuse for mistreating a significant other. If he cannot handle all of the things on his plate--work, school, developing a relationship--then the same thing will likely happen again. But if he can convince you that he wants to change and have better balance in his life, then I suppose he deserves a second chance.


Edited 5/22/2006 3:08 pm ET by santabarbarachick
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 7:08pm

I agree with SBC...you need to find out if that's how he's ALWAYS going to be when he's stressed, or if he realises he didn't deal with it well and wants to change.

Of course, only time will tell whether he's capable of change...getting back together with him definitely involves risk, but it might be a risk you're willing to take.

Sheri