Give It A Try or Say Goodbye??

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2006
Give It A Try or Say Goodbye??
3
Sun, 05-21-2006 - 11:39pm
Ok. I have a little dilema. I recently started talking and hanging out with an ex. I do know that he still has some feelings for me but I'm not sure if I should start anything with him again. We dated for a year about 5 years ago. This is the first time I've seen him in those 5 years. Our relationship was good for the most part back then. He was recently seperated from his wife and starting a divorce back then. The main reason we broke up was because he couldn't commit to a relationhip, which was understandable, he was just going through a divorce and I wanted a commited relationship. So we both moved on. Right after our breakup someone close to him told me he cheated on me when we were dating. I would like to ask him if he did cheat or not but not sure if I should. Will he lie? Did his friend tell me the truth about the cheating? I don't think I will ever know whos telling me the truth. But if he did cheat will he always cheat? He did get divorced about 2 years ago. He does seem like a different person, alot more settled in his life, and on track than he was back then and looking for a commited relationship. Should I give it a try or say goodbye?


Edited 5/22/2006 3:35 pm ET by ti3g3er77
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 3:50am

ti3g3er77...

Pianoguy thinks you've already answered your own question. It comes in this sentence:

"The main reason we broke up is because he couldn't commit to a relationship!"

So why waste your time wondering if he cheated on you...or if the chance for change will ever occur? CUZ IT WON'T!

Assuming his divorce has come through (you didn't indicate if it had or not), you can always approach your time together as A FRIENDSHIP...if you want to? But the risk of him straying away (aka CHEATING ON YOU) will also be present.

Sorry I can't be more positive.

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 7:26am
I'd talk to him and ask a few pertinent questions about what he did during that time. I can't tell whether he cheated or not, so you are going to have to use your own judgement.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Mon, 05-22-2006 - 7:38am

I say give it a try, but pose the following questions: 1. make sure that he is divorced, which i am hoping after five years that he is divorced and 2. don't be afraid to ask him where he is in regards to committed relationships today. I don't think that it would harm you to ask about whether it is true that he cheated on you. But remember, it was 5 years ago. If he says yes or no, you have to ask yourself, are you using the cheating 5 years ago as an excuse not to be hurt again by him.

Good Luck