Giving him a key to your place???
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Giving him a key to your place???
| Tue, 05-11-2004 - 1:14pm |
How long would/should one wait to give their boyfriend/girlfriend a key to their place? How soon is too soon, etc. I'm considering this, but for some reason thought maybe there should be a time table for something so big. It is a big deal right? Just curious! Any insight would be greatly appreciated :)

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I could never picture myself doing that...unless there was something in it for me financially, maybe, even then...I don't know about that even.
Aren't any of you afraid that is opening the door to possibly being used, walked on, further abuse - to say the least?
Edited 5/21/2004 2:53 pm ET ET by dannyboone
I have been used/abused by men...but I have learned from those mistakes. Learned enough to trust my instincts and to be a good judge of character. These women probably feel the same. They have known their bfs for a considerable period of time...I've only known mine for 4 mos and I would give him a key. I trust him that much. Not because I am blind or foolish - bc I have seen him go out of his way to be a responsible, kind, respecting, considerate human being. I haven't been wrong about those things for MANY years now (10) so I can trust my gut on that. I think its really sad that you can't. It means you have some healing to do. And some decent men to find...even just as friends...so you can learn to recognize the "signs" of one. Good luck.
I don't think this is a matter of me finding someone "trustworthy". Someone "trustworthy" for me would be someone who would never dare ask for my key, let alone come over uninvited, let alone ask me for my address even in the first place.
This is a matter of stating a fact, that most women do not take appropriate measures to protect themselves.
Do you think a guy would ever put himself out on the line as much as a woman does? HELL NO.
I'm jsut saying, ladies, be careful. They're not as sweet and charming as you think they are!
I'd say that is an extreme example. Not to mention unless the guy left the girls address with the stranded key, eh, might not be a big deal. Still that wasn't very cool. Like it was stated before, I would not even think about giving out my key to my bf if I had any questions about how he would use it. You are right, there aren't any guarantees in a relationship or how a person is, but unless you take the chance (after following your gut instincts) how will you ever know. You could be missing out on something great. I don't go around trusting everyone. Actually it's very hard to earn my trust, so I thought this thru and feel good about my decision.
>I don't think this is a matter of me finding someone "trustworthy". Someone >"trustworthy" for me would be someone who would never dare ask for my key, let >alone come over uninvited, let alone ask me for my address even in the first place.
Yikes. Are you saying you do not date or have never been in a long term relationship? You never let the guys know where you live? Do you only go to their places?? I will agree that if my bf had ASKED for a key, I would have thought a lot longer about that...but that's not how it worked out.
Believe me, I know guys aren't as sweet and charming as they sometimes appear. That's why you let them slowly win your trust (and them yours) over time as you get to know each other. It's all part of the relationship process. Who knows where my bf and I will be in 3 months, until then I'm going to enjoy the time we spend together and not worry about all that.
Edited 5/21/2004 4:02 pm ET ET by mindyourstep
It works both ways. Men or women can be "users"...friends can be "users"...I have been victim of that many times! Learning to judge who ppl really are and who you can trust is an important skill that is required in all aspects of your life.
No, I don't don't date, had one long term R/s about 10 years ago.
Guess you can say I never really made time for it, because I never saw that much benefit from it, but am starting to think about it now, I mean, I might actually be missing out on something, just don't know what that is yet, what's the big deal about it. Why do people get all so worked up about R/s anyway? What's the big deal anyway? Just curious is all, and trying to find some answers is why I'm here, really. Kind of hoping I might learn something I never knew before. I appreciate you all posting and tlaking about this, it is helping me learn about different perspectives in the world.
It didn't feel weird at all. I didn't know if he was going to come over last night, but I was hoping he would. I'm glad he felt comfortable enough to go in and wait on me to come back. He did say he sat outside in his car for about 20minutes when he saw my car was gone. hehe, but realized he could call me. I'm glad he did. He was taking a nap on my couch when I walked in...
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