Giving up on hopeless friend!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Giving up on hopeless friend!
3
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 8:30am
one of my very best friends is driving me nuts when it comes to her and dating, and i think i'm ready to give up on her. she has had a good share of relationships, but every single one, she has to cause drama. it's like she feeds on it. if she is dating a guy who is playing games with her, she's a wreck, doesn't end things, goes back to him every time...if she's dating a guy who is "available too much, no mystery" (aka NORMAL, GOOD GUY!), she finds him unattractive and no mystery, and wants to end things. she criticizes guys for the MOST RIDICULOUS things..he has big ears...he has big ear lobes...he's not muscular, he's flabby, etc. she admits she has relationship issues, but i'm beginning to sound like a broken record when i talk to her! it's the same thing over and over again...and i'm losing my mind! i'm newly married so i feel like she thinks "well, what do you know, your married." HAH! i feel like as much as i want to help her and as muc has i love her, she's driving me NUTS!!! what do i do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 8:40am

Sorry, bellaboston!

Pianoguy doubts there is ANY WAY you can help your friend?

WHY?

Because she's looking for a 'flaw' in every man before she gives him a chance! Part of this might be dramatic, but I honestly believe she's happier bitching than trying to make a relationship work?

You have 2 choices: Put up with her nonsense or just walk away! She'll probably bitch about you too if you decide to take the 2nd option!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 8:46am
I'm familiar with this "friend" but sadly, I have no answer for you. There's really nothing you can do. If you'd like to remain friends you just have to limit your interaction in order to save your sanity and be honest with her. If she doesn't like your honesty, that's her decision but you can't (and it doesn't sound like you want to) enable her destructive behavior. If she asks for advice, you should give it but otherwise, you just have to deal with her if you want to remain friends.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Mon, 10-31-2005 - 1:59pm
I have a friend like yours, her bf is very toxic. He stands her up for dates, doesn't call her for weeks on end and she still goes back to the creep. One day, I told her if she goes back to him, I have no more advice for her and I never want to hear his name again. Some of her other friends, have said the same things. Now she doesn't talk about him as often, but everytime she does, I say "UH! No Nick! Cause he's a no-good Nick!" She's very sick of me saying that, so she thinks before she talks about him.

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