Going Out Alone?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-08-2006
Going Out Alone?
5
Thu, 06-08-2006 - 7:55pm
Are guys intimidated by women who are standing around a bunch of their girlfriends? When I go out, I'm always with my crew, and I never get approached, EVER. Should I try going out solo? I'm 32, never married, and no kids, and I'm tired of being single and dateless!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2005
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 10:20am
have you tried online dating?
Avatar for memphisstars
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-09-2006 - 3:28pm

I am 53 and I have noticed that much younger women seem to travel in "flocks" of four to six. I have heard that that is intimidating to most guys. After all, they have to approach all those women and try to cull one out of the group without insulting all the others, all the while being subjected to the opinions of the whole group.

I am not comfortable going out to bars and clubs by myself either, but I have found it effective to go out with one or two other women friends, which is a lot less intimidating to guys than a large group. In fact, that is how I met Wonderful Guy. He offered to buy drinks for my two girlfriends and I, chatted with all of us, and then at the end, gave me his number. He called me a couple days later and we have been dating ever since.

I would concur that online dating might be a possibility for you, too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2004
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 7:49am
I've read that when you're out with a group of friends, it's a good idea to separate yourself from the group for a few minutes if you're interested in a particular guy. You'd probably want to give him eye contact first/ahead of time, of course.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2004
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 9:19am

I feel your pain. I am/have been in a similar boat. I think that the older we get, not that we are old. Meeting people is different. A 25 year-old man is probably more likely to go up to the crew of women to meet the one he is interested in. In his 30's and 40's it is less likely. Are you still doing the bar thing?

One of my brother's made a comment to me before he got married, that has stuck with me. He found dating in his 30s horrible because he felt a tremendous amount of pressure that every woman he dated over 30 was in a big rush for marriage and kids. He felt he wasn't able to get to know the real person. How to get past that is the big question I am still working on. He ended up marrying a wonderful woman when he was 35 and they are very happy. They were set up by mutual colleague. He was a lawyer who did work for the bank she worked at. Someone at the bank he dealt with for work set them out and the rest is history.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Sun, 06-11-2006 - 2:13pm
YEs they are intimdated by groups of women. It is better to go to a singles event alone. But also go to seminars, lectures, take classes, do things that interest you and hopefully there'll be an interesting guy there as well.
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