"gonna work things out with his wife?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2006
"gonna work things out with his wife?"
2
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 11:00am
This guy contacted me through yahoo personals back in january and i replied in early february....since then we have talked almost every day!! He is deployed to iraq with the national guard and has been seperated from his wife since december. She moved out while he was on deployment (keeping in mind that this is the second time they have been married). He has been really sweet and kind and has even chatted with my kids online, like showing them some cool pics of iraq and weapons and stuff....I've sent him all kinds of stuff for his birthday, and just because, like snacks and sodas they cant get there and so on a so forth. Well anyway, today, he tells me that his wife said she wants to work things out? what the heck?? he said he wants to keep talking to me if that is ok with me, but i asked him if he really thought that was a good idea, because i didnt want to hinder any decision making that needed to be done (thinking that maybe he would realize that he missed chatting with me and stuff) well his reply was....ok well ill think about it and let you know. dont get me wrong...its not that i dont want him to be with his wife if that is what he wants, because i honestly believe that every marriage deserves a chance but i have a hard time believing that after all this time she just now realizes she wants him back?? she even told him "you deserve so much better than me and i am a failure" does that not sound like shes playing with his emotions? looking for sympathy??? We have been making big plans on meeting when he gets home and he has sent me pics of his whole family and just has really led me to believe that if we meet and things go good that we might have a chance. I feel like such a fool....i told him from the beginning that i wasnt into playing games and wasnt looking for short-term or internet relationships and that he needed to be honest with me and tell me if he wasnt interested in trying to make a go of it when he gets home and he said he was interested. Then his wife fills his head with all this stuff about how shes depressed and feels like he abandoned her when he left to go to iraq.....but she is the one who moved out and away from the town where he lived. I dont know what to do...from here. his best friend tells me to give him time and that he will see what shes up to eventually and that she is sneaky and that she is definitely playing him....but im just so floored that ive been dooped again. seriously starting to feel like im destined to be alone for the rest of my life.....been through so much with my ex husband and finally got over that then have a couple ( and i mean only a couple) of dates in the past three years and everytime i think things are good, i find out differently....what is wrong? any help/advice would be greatly appreciated....
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2004
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 11:08am

Been there :( I would recommend taking a look at the ending an affair board. Read some of the posts about married men.

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlending?redirCnt=1

Cheryl

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2006
Fri, 04-28-2006 - 11:18am
thanks for your quick reply and your suggestion...ill check out that site!! Thanks again!! Jeanne :-(