great 1st date...now what?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-06-2003
great 1st date...now what?
1
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 3:39pm

I met this guy 3 weeks ago...we hung out (with some friends) at a bar/club for maybe an hour (tops)a few days later... but then i got sick that weekend. I think he thought I was trying to ditch him so when I was better I called (actually drunk-dialed) him to see what was up. He started texting/ calling me again and last Wednesday he took me out on a REAL date (not at a club and by ourselves-no friends). He was sweet, polite, and even though we went back to his place we only made out (and he even said that he didn't want to do more because he didn't want to ruin things-which is good bc I wouldn't have done more anyway lol).. he kept saying NEXT time we go out he will take me out for italian (my fav), and he mentioned a couple of times that he likes me and wants to see me again. He told me he would call me the next day (and he actually called 20 min after he brought me home just to let me know he got home safe) but now he hasn't called since.

I want to casually text him, but then again I don't want to seem desperate...if anyone can give me some advice I'd really appreciate it... Normally I wouldn't stress, but the past 5 guys I have dated just completely stopped talking to me a couple of weeks/months into the relationship (OUT OF NOWHERE!)

~Shnorkels

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Mon, 05-08-2006 - 4:58pm

I think it's great that he called you right after your date to say good night. But the fact remains that he said he would call the NEXT DAY to set up another date. So, in that case, I say the ball is still in his court to call you. What you could have done was called him the day after your date to thank him for a nice evening. That's not only the polite thing to do after a man has treated you to dinner, it might have been the opening you both needed to set a second date up.

Generally, men need only a minimum of encouragement to pursue women they are highly attracted to. I'm not saying your friend isn't attracted at all... but 5 days with no phone call and no requests for another date could mean he's otherwise occupied. And let's not forget that it's usually a turn-off to receive drunk-dial call, especially when you're just getting to know somebody.

But you have nothing to lose by texting him or calling him to see what happens. But I would only make ONE call or leave one message. If he doesn't take the initiative from there, I'd say he's not all that interested.

Good luck.