great meating, great date, no call?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
great meating, great date, no call?
16
Mon, 08-14-2006 - 4:28pm

Okay i am new here and i have a wonderful story that maybe some of you guys can help me with.

First i am new to the dating game and i can be a bit akward when it coems to dating. As a kid and teenager i was always the girl who stayed in on friday and saturday nights and now that i am in my 20's i have found that guys are actually interested in me and i am not used to it yet.

Now i will get on with my story...

Earlier this year i went out of town for some training and i met a guy while i was on the plane. He sat next to me and initiated conversation right away (which took me by suprise). We spoke about business for a bit and he told me about his business involvements and i did the same. We then formally introduced ourselves and he said that he recognized my last name. He knows some people i am slightly acquainted with (he used to live in the city where i live but has moved away, although he still comes back fequently for business reasons). We got back to speaking about business and he asked me for my address and told me he would send me something from his company. I gave him my business address and we continued talking until the flight was over (about politics, family, economics, whatever). He was a great conversationalist and even made slight invites like "oh if your into such and such i should take you with me here". I really thought nothing of it until...

a few days later i recieve a big FedEx box from him. He had sent me exactly what i had been telling him about! I was in shock! I asked some friends what i should do and they told em to send him something along with a nice thank you card and give him my number saying give me a call when you are in town and we can get together, which i did. i hadn't heard from him for a while and i kind of felt dumb for sending him my number (maybe i interpreted his actions wrong?)

Two months later, out of the blue he calls me and said that he was in town and wanted to get together. I call him back and we agree to meet the next day at a restaraunt (i think he wanted to pick me up but i had prior engagements and it made much more sense for us to meet). We meet up, have a drink and a fun time (we spoke about a whole bunch of stuff and it almost seemed like he was making it clear to me that he wasn't tied up with anyone at the moment). Then we decided to go and have a cigar together so we go back to the place where he was staying. We sat around and talked for about 4 hours, and i think he was being flirty (he commented on my cute feet and even put his feet on top of mine). He made offers to me for the future (next time i am here i can teach you to drive standard transmission) It was getting very late and he had a meeting but he offered to let me stay there and he would take me to my car in the AM if i wanted (it was parked maybe 5 blocks away). I declined as i had to get home and on our way out i did something silly and he smacked by butt.

When he dropped me off at my car he went to kiss me but it took me by suprise (like i said...i am dating inept) and i kind of moved and he got the cheek and a hug kind of thing...

Now i feel like i totally messed up or something. It's been a month and still no call from him. I am not quite sure what his intentions were/are and i am very puzzled by this. In a way i am a bit hurt because i though we were both having a good time. Is it possible that he thinks i am not interested in him?

What are your thoughts/opinions?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 3:19pm

Okay, enough already with the discussion. You are spending more time on this board than doing what you want to do, so go ahead and call him.

"Hi, it's ittiebittiebaby, I was just thinking about you, are you coming back to town soon?"

Go make the call. If he's not there, leave a message.

(And ask him whether he has a girlfriend while you are at it)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 3:25pm
I love this statement: Remember....our gut/intuition is actually years of experience doing the math for you. Listen to it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 4:44pm
"Sure, the OP can ask, but I don't think she'll get the truth if he is married or involved."......heck no, he'll lie for certain.
Case in point, I met a guy out one evening, no wedding band (the first thing I check for). He got my number, called me and we scheduled drinks after work. Before I go out with someone I'm particularly attracted to, I do as much homework as I can. This case, all I did was call 'information 1411' and got his home number--which was listed under Jane and John Doe. I called and got his very young daughter's voice on the outgoing message stating, "...mommy and daddy are out, please leave a message." (Of course, too good to be true!!!)
But, I gave him the benefit of the doubt....maybe he's newly divorced, maybe it's an old message and he just doesn't want to change it" blah blah blah.
When we finally met for drinks, first thing I did was ask him.....he flat out lied straight to my face. I even had his wife's name, "Jane"...he said, "nope, not him, never heard of her." Silly gullible me believed him.....we had a great, funfilled evening, he was very attentive, we laughed and had an amazing 10 minute kiss goodnight. During the evening he was telling me how he had just built a house in a very trendy part of town. The next day, on a whim, I decided to drive by the address the 1411 gave me and sure enough, saw the wife getting out of her car, a small girl running in the yard, scare-crows and pumpkins in the yard (it was Halloween)......I said to myself, "...how many hot bachelors do I know that put Halloween decorations in their yard." Plus, when I never heard from him again, I put 2and2 together.....he got too close to the fire (I busted him!)
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 4:52pm

You did exactly what I would have done. But I would have googled his name as well, found out what I could about his hobbies (blogs), his family (my space) and then found every single phone number and address associated with the man.

I would have made that phone call too. It sucks to be lied to, but doing a little bit of homework goes a long way.

I was interested in a man last week, but I didn't find much on the net about him, I am very thorough. If I can't find the info then I've decided to keep my distance.

I like a good thorough search.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-14-2006
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 5:48pm

Wow, you guys are good. I think i am going to do a little bit of a background check on this guy later on tonight...

I didget a little bit of information about him from a girl who knows of him. A bit of the info she gave me was kind of interesting(He might have a daughter who was not mentioned at all to me by him) but she is unsure of the girlfriend status.

I guess i have to stop giving people the benefit of the doubt and realize that others do lie about things in order to get what they want. I was raised to be a honest person and i guess i just expect the same of others.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Tue, 08-15-2006 - 5:58pm

Google the name, all variations.

Check out addresses, and call the phone numbers that he didn't give you to see what the message says, or if a woman picks up. Make sure you hide your number on Caller ID.

Search out anything where his name pops up. Find out about his hobbies, his sports involvement and search out his myspace page.

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