"great personality," but...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2005
"great personality," but...
8
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 10:42am
I just started going out with this wonderful guy - he treats me well, he takes the time to really try to understand me, and we're able to talk about basically anything. I love him as a person, and I feel emotionally connected to him. The "BUT" is, though, that I'm not as physically attracted to him. To what extent should looks play into how I rate a significant other?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 11:01am

crazycatlady420...

PG suggests that you consider the ENTIRE package...not just if there's physical attraction or not!

Nobody's LOOKS will last forever...since each of us is subject to the aging process. .

The biggest decision you have is whether you wish to "stay just friends" or take the relationship up a notch! And nobody on this board can help you when it comes to this sort of a choice!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 1:02pm
There's a lot more to attraction than looks. Make sure you're not looking for a reason to let yourself be attracted. Unofficially, I'd say about 50% of the married women I know say that their husband was not initially their "type" physically, but something attracted them to him anyway. You said you just started going out so maybe you need to get to know him better.


Edited 10/27/2005 10:39 am ET by lesleylou
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 1:11pm
Um, looks do play a part in establishing physical chemistry. If this guy doesn't turn you on, you have to accept it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2003
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 3:23pm
How many dates have you been on? Is there anything about him physically that is appealing to you? I was not physically attracted to my SO when we first went out. But I did think he had a cute smile -- and he had big, strong, beautiful hands. I really enjoyed his company and I do remember thinking that it was a shame he wasn't better looking...lol.
haha...the joke was on me because once the sexual attraction to him started -- it hit me like a ton of bricks.
I still don't think my SO is very 'good looking' -- at least not in the conventional way. But because we do connect on so many levels, to me he is adorable and very sexy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 10-26-2005 - 4:21pm
I think love can make a plain man seem handsome. But if you don't feel physically attracted to him - I would guess that you really just like him as a friend. Iri
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2005
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 12:59am
I think you need to go out with him some more time. I believe physical attraction comes later sometimes, when you get to know a person better, and develop that emotional connection with him. There are no rules about when they should develop. That depends on the chemistry both of you create with each other with time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 1:42pm

you don't say how long you've been dating or far you've gone physically (if at all). but when two people connect on many levels the physical can follow


laughing, trusting, spiritually connecting - that can be an aphrodisiac

,
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Thu, 10-27-2005 - 1:50pm
Only you would know if an attraction to him could develop in the future. If there are things about him that are "kinda cute", then I'd say go for it. But if you can't fathom the idea of making love to him, then you might want to put the brakes on this relationship. I'm talking from personal experience here. I met a guy once who was shorter than me, not too attractive, but very funny and a great personality. He was very sociable and fun to go out with. I wanted to keep things on a friendship level, but he persued a relationship with me. Finally, I decided to give it a go. The attraction to him, never came, and it only left him frustrated and angry. After a month we broke up. If I had to do it all over again, I would have told him let us not ruin the friendship by trying to be a couple.

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