Guy gets a lil psycho after 2nd date

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2006
Guy gets a lil psycho after 2nd date
4
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 4:37pm
i KNOW THIS IS LONG BUT HAD TO PAINT THE PICTURE FOR YOU! Well here goes....I kinda did a dumb thing by dating a guy I work with..hes a great guy at work so i figured I'd give it a shot..plus we both were in the same boat that we just had ended relationshsips....we did the dinner thing then the next night was a work party...I wanted to keep it hush that we went on the date and he was cool with that until he started drinking...he started to blurt out that he likes me and he was trying to get me to kiss him in front of people...I wanted no part of it...Anyway..I left and he knew i was pissed so he shows up at my house ringin the doorbell anf knockin on the door like crazy.. I eventually let him in to sleep on my couch cause he was too bombed to drive(I went in my room and locked to door). He started bangin on my bedroom door saying that he likes me and just wants to be with me...blablababla..I couldn't reason with him cause he was so drunk and after an hour of this he left (after he called me crazy and "messed up" about 10 times, thats great for the self esteem!) He left only to call me 20 times and text me on his way home...at about 700 am he called and apologized left and right saying that wasn't him and that he doesnt normally act that way...i said apology accepted but no more dating him..He thinks he deserves another chance....I think that he may hav some psycho tenedencies and dont want to find out what round 2 of his episode will be like.......Am I being rude or giving up by not givinh him a second chance? Aside from that night I enjoy his company and he was really nice and fun......so confused! PS: he felt like a total ass on monday at work!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 6:16pm
I think this man has a large alcohol problem AND some psycho tendencies. He's already showed you his true colors, why on earth would you give him a "second chance"? Considering you work with him, he's and accident waiting to happen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2005
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 7:53pm

Doesn't that stink? You think you have a decent grasp on who someone is and then they completely surprise you, and not in a good way? It's a little too early for him to be acting like this...and quite frankly, no one should ever act like this! I'm always weary of guys who seem a bit 'off' after the first date...we all have our 'flaws' and quirks but I'm a firm believer in presenting your best self FIRST.

I say for the sake of work relations let him know you had a great time, think he's a great guy but aren't ready for anything like you thought you were. Unfortunatly because you work together you may have to lie and bite your toungue but if he's psycho you don't want to irritate him more by telling him that, haha.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2006
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 10:42pm
Thanks for the replies.....I feel better! I just got home from a work meeting which he was attending and it was a lil wierd. I thought that we could be mature and keep business business but it felt wierd. I may be me reading into it but after the meeting its always turns into a social event and he obviously was avoiding me. It sucks because I liked how our friendship was prior to "the episode"! I guess I learned my lesson about dating in the work place! I hope it all goes back to normal soon and we can be the friends that we used to be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2006
Thu, 02-22-2007 - 10:47pm
I agree...thanks for the reply. I was second guessing myself after seeing the sober him at work on monday..but I kept replaying in my head how he acted on Friday. I did make the right move but I think I am missing the companionship, not him. God being single again is hard!! But I have to enjoy it!