Guy not making the moves at all

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Guy not making the moves at all
4
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 10:07am
Hi there

I've been dating a guy for a couple of weeks, but we've known each other for about 4 months. Things got pretty awkward every time we saw each other so I finally kissed him to break it. The next time I saw him I left it to him, but he didn't kiss me??? He just stood by the car staring at me... The NEXT time I felt so awkward I talked to him about it and he said he is shy. Anyway, things seem to have gotten less awkward but I'm getting 'tired'.... I feel like I'm the one having to make all the moves. We've spent the night together twice, but he doesn't do anything to romance me. Neither of us has gone 'below the belt'... I'm starting to feel wierd about it. How can a guy lie naked next to a girl he supposedly likes and do nothing? I know everyone says a slow-moving guy is a nice change, but I'm starting to feel pressured because I feel like everything is left to me. I'm also struggling because I'm 'on the fence'. I'm not passionately attracted to him.. i wish I was but I'm not, so me having to make the moves concerns me that I'll be leading him on. Hmm... anyone have any experiences like this to draw on?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 10:34am

I don't understand why you are pressing him to get physical with you... spending the night with him, naked, making him kiss you

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 11:19am
I do think about what you are saying - I'm just struggling with ending it because he's really nice to me and I haven't had a guy interested like this in over a year. Maybe I am trying to make something out of nothing -but I know he likes me because he writes and calls me everyday and always wants to see me. I feel comfortable with him but it's the passion element that I fear won't be strong enough.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2003
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 1:24pm
I agree with Jill. It sounds like he does like you and enjoys hanging out with you, but perhaps neither of you is interested in a physical/romantic relationship. Usually guys are pretty upfront about whether or not they want a more-than-platonic relationship.

If you like spending time with him, continue to do so--perhaps as friends. Just be sure that you're not looking for passion that isn't there and be honest with yourself and him about what you want.

On a more positive note, if he's interested in you (and it appears that he is), other guys will be interested in you and attracted to you.

Good luck.

Bex

Avatar for suzy_corgan
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 1:40pm
I read your post and realized that you are going through what I went through. The guy was super nice to me, and even told me that he likes me, but that he is slow when it comes to making the first move. So guess what I did, I told him that we should just be friends, and that is all. I am not physically attracted to him. I like him in every other way, but I can't see myself romantically involved with him, because I don't feel physically into him. Maybe that is what you should do, try to just be friends and not press the fact that you two should get together intimately. Sometimes that is the best thing to become, good friends. In the meanwhile, I have gone out with guys who are interested in me. Believe me there are other "fish in the sea".