Guy reappears

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2005
Guy reappears
3
Sun, 12-04-2005 - 8:59am

I met a guy more than a year ago and was deeply attracted to him then, even though we've only met twice and had just 1 date - he had to leave the country the next day after our date. He showed interest in me as well, and said he'd liked to get to know me better. However our attraction for each other didn't last long after he left as I never heard from him again after a few emails. I waited and waited but he never kept in touch again. He returned 4 months later, but we never met up. I concluded he was not interested in me anymore.

3 days ago, we met up again(through a friend), and he's showing interest in me again! I can't believe it!! I am flattered, but also angry at the same time. He's one year late!! I was too disappointed with him when he suddenly went missing in action, and do not want to fall into the trap again. Plus, he will leave the country again soon, i dunno when exactly, could be another few weeks or months.

My friends think he just wants to have a fling with me, or maybe even a one night stand. During our 1st and only date last year, he did ask me to go up to his hotel room, but very coincidentally, the lift was out of service!!

I don't know what games he's trying to play now, or if he's sincere. I am pretty sure whatever it is, he will forget about me again once he's not in the country.

He just sms-ed me saying he's been thinking about me after seeing me this time, but I am going to ignore him and not reply. Am I over-reacting/taking too seriously, or should I give him a chance? Am I rude for not replying his sms? I don't want to fall for him again, only to get hurt one more time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: lindsayt05
Sun, 12-04-2005 - 9:50am
Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
In reply to: lindsayt05
Sun, 12-04-2005 - 12:05pm

Nope, I think you're handling it smart. You know that he's going to be leaving again, so ... think "big picture" ... he's not going to be around ... so, why would he be looking for anything other than a casual encounter?

I wouldn't respond to his text ... but, if you want to be direct about it, just give him a call and say "it was nice seeing you again too ... but, I've got a lot of my plate right now" and leave it at that.

I mean, it wasn't anything serious before ... and has nowhere to go now ... so, just be cordial about it, but you don't really owe him any explanations or heartfelt admissions of feeling hurt about it before, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-02-2005
In reply to: lindsayt05
Mon, 12-05-2005 - 6:21am
If I were in the same situation I would do the same thing that you are doing. If he already blew you off for a year and only thought about getting with you because he saw you then I think that he has made his intentions pretty clear. I honestly think the guy has a lot of nerve thinking you would be thrilled to hear from him anyway. So unless you are looking for a little fling, I say give him no response. Hope it works out!!