Guys and Gals I Need Your Feedback

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Guys and Gals I Need Your Feedback
12
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 10:07am
Well I posted yesterday of my gentleman caller not showing up for a date and having to call the next day (see Too Cautious??). After thinking last nite because (I had to take a breather from being peeved and did not want to say anything ugly). I finally got off my stubborn bum and listened to his voicemail he left. He did a "Ruben Studdard" (you know the record "I'm Sorry for 2004"?). I just listened. We talked this morning yet I am remaining cool! His explanation was that he was sick from food poisoning. He profusely apologized again when I talked to him this morning. I still remain cool.

All feedback is welcomed. Thanks!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 10:37am
I don't buy it. I think unless he was unconscious or at least in the hospital, he could have made a 1 minute phone call to you, before the time of your date, to say he was sick and couldn't make it. Wouldn't you have done the same for him?

Look at it this way... when you are sick and can't make it to work, don't you ALWAYS find a second to call the job and let them know? Of course you do. The same rule (courtesy) should apply to someone expecting you for a date.

Of course, it's up to you whether you choose to accept his explanation and apology and give him another chance. I wouldn't. The early stage is when an interested man is supposed to be on his BEST behavior. So if he's acting shaky already, that's not a good sign, to me. Not calling you the day of the date was disrespectful.






Edited 3/16/2004 11:56 am ET ET by jilly73

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 10:44am
Sick from food poisoning???? Usually food posioning is pretty bad, its not just a tummy ache. I think it sounds like a bizarre excuse. I didn't read your post, did he stand you up or at least call and cancel???

If he stood you up, I'd say CYA!!! There is no excuse in the age of cell phones, email, pagers and landline phones that anyone should stand you up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 11:06am
He did not show up yet I got a phone call the day after (which I did not answer and he left a voice mail). As I said earlier, I am extremely cool about this one. More later and thanks for your feedback.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 12:02pm
I don't know about the food poisoning excuse . . . when you talked did he explain further? Did he go to the hospital? Food poisoning can be very serious . . . but can also be mild, and is also a good excuse that you can't verify after the fact.

Anyway, the fact that he did have an excuse is why I thought you should at least hear him out. Now it's up to you to decide whether you believe him or not, but at least this should help with the awkwardness seeing him on the bus.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 12:13pm
Thanks Ginger for your feedback! He called this morning and I was so calm, I believed it scared him. He says that he still does not feel well and will go to seek medical attention. Nevertheless, he was more apologetic. I needed not to talk to him yesterday because for one I needed to calm down and think things through. Perhaps, he is getting a taste my wrath re my ex as you said on yesterday.

I will talk to him further and let him know of my disappointment and in the future common courtesy is expected and finally if this happens again, I am gone. I will continue to remain calm and centered when talking to him and not let him see me sweat (I do that in summer, smile!).

Again thanks and take care!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 12:24pm
You're welcome. :) Just to clarify . . . I think it was wise of you to wait until you calmed down to talk if you felt you would fly off the handle earlier. I didn't mean to suggest otherwise. I think it's great that you were able to keep your composure.

If you didn't convey to him your expectations about him calling if something comes up, then I would do it ONCE and then let this go. Don't keep bringing it up.


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 12:34pm
Thanks gurlfriend!

I will keep that in mind and keep in touch with you!

Be blessed today!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 12:53pm

It's a darn good thing that he didn't have to call 911 if he was that sick! He could heve never made the call!


Seriously though, yes food poisoning is serious and moreso than just a case of indegestion or the green apple quick step (I'm from the south... we all know what that is!) and it may or not be an excuse.


I know when I am ill I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to see anyone and I don't want to call anyone. But, I also try to be considerate enough to let someone know that there is a problem if I have made plans with them. It's both considerate and respectful.


In this case, I think it was a mistake for him to just leave you hanging without a call.


Now, you have choices here (we always do). You have heard his explanation and you can choose to accept it or not. You can choose to discuss this with him and let him know of your distaste for his lack of consideration and respect, or not. You can descide that you don't want to deal with this again and walk away from him, or not.


In the end, it is your choice based on what you feel is comfortable for you and in your best interests.


tg

 
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 12:57pm
I completely agree with you!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Tue, 03-16-2004 - 1:06pm
Hi Terry!

It is quite refreshing to here it from guys. I talked to him this morning and he sounded scared because I was so calm yet, relieved that I returned his call...finally. I did not answer him yesterday because I needed to think things through before talking to him. I wanted to be rational and let him know the deal without the drama.

I will talk to him further and let him know my dislikes of the situation and that I expect better in the future or I will no longer deal with him.

I will let you know what happen asap. Again thanks for the feedback!

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