Guys picks girl or Meet halfway?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Guys picks girl or Meet halfway?
13
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 12:42pm

So I am going for my first date today with this guy I met online. We were discussing how we should meet up. I would really like to know, is the general protocol "guy picks up girl?", or is it "meet halfway". I understand it could be "meet halfway" if the distance is too much between the two? But we live about a half hour away, which isn't really much.

He initially suggested meeting halfway, but I wasn't too excited about that for some reason. I suggested if he wanted to pick me up, and he said he didn't mind that but his passenger seat seatbelt isn't working, so if he picks me up I might have to sit at the back. I declined, and then said okay, we'll meet directly at the restaurant in that case.

What could be the reasons a guy wants to NOT pick up the girl for their first date, and meet halfway? Is it because they are just being cautious? Guys, what might be your reasons?

I know, I kinda like this guy, hence I wanted him to pick me up. if I had any reservations, or felt uncomfortable with something, I'd have volunteered to come for the date on my own.

Thoughts?

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 1:29pm

Perhaps it is time you learn more about proper first time meet-up etiquette for Internet dating. Generally, most people find that meeting up in well lit restaurants or coffee bars to be the safest.

You don't know who this man is, and he doesn't know who you are. Better safe than sorry. Once a comfort level has been established, then traditional dating rules apply.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 1:40pm

Personally, I would NEVER have someone pick me up at my home on a first date. Or second date. I wouldn't want someone I don't really know yet knowing where I live.

Sorry, sienna, but it's time to toss the old "dating rules" out the window. Guys don't really pick women up for dates much anymore. It's much more of a standard to meet up at a mutually agreed upon place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 1:54pm

Thank you! That helps.
Just that, since we have been speaking on the phone often, and have even met once for a few minutes before, so I am familiar with him. And there's a certain comfort level.

I am wondering what the guys think in such a scenario. We don't wanna have a guy pick us up for safety reasons. This is from the girl's point of view. Why would a man not wanna pick up a woman? What's his reason?

Have any of you all watched Blind Date on TV. Why do we see guys picking up these women they have not even seen before at their doorsteps?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 2:12pm

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!

What are you *thinking*, woman???

Never, EVER have a stranger pick you up at your home!!! NEVER!

Argh!!! I can't even believe you are thinking that's a good idea!

Frankly, he's probably wondering about your lack of good judgment. Even if he knows he's a good guy, he also knows that a savvy woman would never even SUGGEST him coming to your house.

Sheri

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 2:22pm

Ok, guess I should have read the whole thread first, LOL ;-). But if this is the guy you met briefly at the fair (am I remembering that right?), then IMO he is still pretty much a stranger and you should not have him pick you up. I don't let guys I've met online come to my house for quite a few dates, actually.

And the Blind Date thing isn't realistic--they have a *camera crew* with them, so safety isn't an issue!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2006
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 2:37pm

Hehe...that's OK Sheri. Yes, this is the Fair guy. And actually, I did not wanna have him pick me up at my DOOR, no no no......LOL. I don't think I'd be comfortable with that. I might seem way too eager and stupid if I do that. But by -picking me up- I meant, being in my general apt. complex, and I could be standng outside in the open. He would never know exactly where I live. That is what I had meant.
Hm, a camera crew is there, with the Blind Dates, true. But even then, the guy still does know exactly where she lives, for future reference. A bit scary to me.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 3:40pm

Unless you live in a giant complex with numerous buildings (and even then), I think that's still way TMI about where you live for a stranger to have.

And that's a good point about the Blind Date thing. I suppose the thinking is that they've got the guy on tape, so he's unlikely to try something stupid later, but still...

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 5:35pm

<< I suppose the thinking is that they've got the guy on tape, so he's unlikely to try something stupid later, but still...>>

heheehee. Have you SEEN the people on Blind Date? (ie, wanna-be actors, models ...complete Los Angeles-LA-LA-land types). They aren't the smartest tacks in the shed ...and more than likely, are just on the show to be on TV (which is true for MOST reality show types). ;-) That said, my thinking is that they probably AREN'T thinking.

Edited to say: no offense to Los Angelinos ... as a SoCal native myself, I most certainly don't think that everyone in LA is in LA-LA-land. It just so happens that there are a lot of "wanna-be's" here, and they're the types that end up on shows like Blind Date, that's all.




Edited 8/23/2006 6:19 pm ET by starbuck70
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 5:42pm

Yeah, I was going to say something along those lines, ha!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 7:44pm

Hi Sheri!

Pianoguy has been enjoying this thread.

Something for all ivillagers to keep in mind about on-line dating is this:

There's just as much potential for a man to meet up WITH A CRAZY WOMAN during a blind date as for the opposite to happen! .

So the suggestion of a "neutral well-lit overpopulated meeting place" isn't a bad idea for dates #1-3. By date #4, at least one of us knows if he (or she) wants to keep our not-so-new relationship going?

Pianoguy

Pages