hairy back

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2004
hairy back
13
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 10:47am
I have been dating this guy for a couple months now. I really like him, however his hairy back is really getting to me. I want to suggest nair or waxing, but not sure how to go about this. Any suggestions?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
In reply to: rae5266
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 1:42pm
Well i don't know how you would go about it. If you go outright and ask him to shave or nair it, it might just offend him. you should know whether or not he would be. Yeah i would definatly get him to nair it off, with your help of course. I hate hairy backs as well, so i understand where you are coming from. I would ask him politly without offending him that you would like a hairless back so you can 'kiss his back without getting hair in your mouth'. Maybe make up something.

Good luck

Carrie
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
In reply to: rae5266
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 2:08pm
Yikes... I can relate. I'm kinda grossed out by hairy backs and shoulders too. I would simply say "have you ever thought about shaving your back?" And then offer to help him.

Hey, nobody thinks it's strange when women have their legs! Don't you think a man would comment on your hairy legs, if you didn't shave them?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2004
In reply to: rae5266
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 2:56pm
That's very true. I guess I'm just concerned because this is still a pretty new relationship and I don't have any way to measure what his reaction may be. I certainly don't want to sound bitchy or embarass him. Ugh!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rae5266
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 3:01pm

As someone who speaks my mind, I've had this conversation before. I just said, "I think a bare back is sexy...and I think it'd be a turn on if you let me nair you in the tub"...remember alot of times, its not WHAT you are saying but HOW you are saying it that has an impact. Keep it light and playful. If you act self conscious and try too hard to word it correctly...then you playing it like a BIG deal. And he will pick up on that. He has hair, a healthy man...you don't think its sexy...no problem, its fixable ;-)


Go.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-05-2004
In reply to: rae5266
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 10:14pm
Huh. Interesting.

Did he suddenly grown hair on his back, last week or something? Was the hair there when you met him? Have you "just been waiting" for the right time to suggest that he shave to meet your requirement?

Uh, maybe you should find someone who does not have a hairy back. I mean, why spend time with a guy whose back is hairy when you don't like hairy backs? Maybe it would be a good idea to stop dating the guy since you don't like hairy backs.

Why would you put yourself through the difficulty of dating a guy with a hairy back, when this whole hairy back thing is clearly a turn-off to you.

Why continue the relationship?

dh

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: rae5266
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 9:32am

Hi


First ask yourself how you'll feel if he's happy with his hairy back. Are you attracted to him otherwise? Is this his main flaw? Can you reconcile yourself to the hairy back if he doesn't want to

,
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
In reply to: rae5266
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 1:23pm
I have yet to read any of the other responses to this post, but being a guy, here is what I would suggest. Tell him youre going in for a makeover or something like that where you get all dolled up and take him with you. No matter how much he pulls away and says no, force him with whatever it is that you ladies do to make us guys putty in your hands. Tell them exactly what you want done to him and hopefully it will work. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
In reply to: rae5266
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 5:28pm
I guess I'd be hesitant to force my views on someone if they had no problem with the way they looked. Suggesting he get rid of his hairy back *for you* is a bit presumptuous. It would be different if it bothered him and he was talking about it and asking you for suggestions on how to get rid of it, but that's an unlikely male scenario. ;-) I personally would fear hurting his feelings or humiliating him with subtle hints (ie, the Robin Williams movie approach). If his hairy back prevents you from being attracted to him then he's probably not the guy for you, since chemistry and attraction are important. If you are attracted to him and a bare back isn't that big of a deal (just something on your wish list) then maybe you can overlook it. Only you know if it's a dealbreaker for you or not. But trying to change someone's appearance to please yourself (especially early on in dating) is putting yourself on thin ice IMO. He is who he is, and his back will probably always be hairy. He may not care, and may not want to face a lifetime of back hair maintenance to please someone else. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2003
In reply to: rae5266
Wed, 04-21-2004 - 9:03pm
I can totally relate to you. When I first saw and felt my boyfriend's back I was completely turned off!!! He is Irish and faired skinned, but he had more hair on his back and shoulders than I've ever seen!! I could brush a comb throw it and braid it if I wanted to! GROSS! But, then, after a couple months, he informed me that he usually "changes his oil" and keeps up with it, but since he had not been dating anyone for months before he met me, he had not gotten it done. I was relieved. Since then, he gets it done every month. Is it possible that he does wax it and just has been lazy about it, being it was winter, and he just started dating you? Do you have any area of yourself waxed? If so, maybe you can get it waxed and mention you had a waxing, and how does he like it, blah blah... ANd, then casually mention that you like to keep up with that stuff, yourself, and ask if he has ever had done it? Maybe it has never crossed his mind to have it done. Maybe if you bring up the topic, he will realize he should have it done. If my boyfriend did not mention that he needs to get it done and just hasn't, I probably would have mentioned it b/c it really was gross. Now, when he is in need for a waxing, I feel comfortable telling him in a funny way. We joke about him being due for an "oil change!" I don't think a guy would be too sensitive about it like a woman may be. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2004
In reply to: rae5266
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 2:35pm
Maybe we just began being intimate with one another and like many new relationships, this was a discovery. I like him very much, unfortunately I can't control what turns me off and turns me on. I wouldn never be shallow enough to break up with someone over something so small and fixable such as this.....I'm just asking for a few suggestions on how best to bring it up to him (ie. waxing, nair).

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