Has being unsure driven him away???

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Has being unsure driven him away???
4
Sun, 03-25-2007 - 9:24pm
I started talking to this guy online (Chris) while I was sort of talking to this other guy (James) online who I really liked. James and I met twice and I really thought we had a connection until he got angry because I wouldn't put out. Then the relationship changed and we stopped talking. Meanwhile Chris and I started talking but I told him I was still hung up on James. He said it was okay and that he understood but eventually I abruptly stopped talking to him without telling him why, because I was really distraught over James and I thought I could get him back. I didn't get him back and what I did to Chris was wrong but that's what I did. After a few months Chris and I started talking again but Chris was reluctant because of what happened before even though I apologized. Chris and I went through a series of off and on again. Still we hadn't met. I wasn't really sure about meeting him and he was getting restless and starting to pull away so I booked a trip to come see him. Now he is acting funny. We had an argument over the phone and then he started only talking to me for a few minutes a day. In a sense I like the more reserved Chris because before this attitude change he was sort of geeking a little and it was off putting but after thinking about it I realize that he is a great guy and I don't want him to get away. He's been very patient with me up till now but I don't like this change. Should I just accept it and see what happens or should I confront him about his change in behavior?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 11:43am

IMHO, this change of attitude and behavior should be a RED flag for you. You haven't even met and he's already acting funny. The man seems shady and that's a bad thing. I wonder if this Chris is also thinking in having sex and then forgeting about you. A good guy is always a good guy, not good on day and funny acting the next. I's be wary of this change in behavior.

Why did you book your trip and not him? If he wants to meet you he should come to you....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 2:47pm

Regardless of why he's acting the way he is, don't you think this is too much work for someone you haven't even met? You don't even know if you have chemistry in person...


My question to you would be if you can refund your trip? I hope so. If you can, I would. No point in going into something that already sounds iffy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 4:34pm
Thank you, I needed to hear that even though it's not what I really wanted to hear. But he did actually plan to book a trip and then I told him not to come because I wasn't sure about things at that time. Looks like I'm still not sure...
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2007
Mon, 03-26-2007 - 4:45pm
Thank you for responding. This is good advice. I really do want to see him but its probably better that he come to me. He did plan to book a trip here but I told him not to come. I guess I can back off and see what happens.