Have I fallen for a seasoned player?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 04-02-2004 - 8:48am |
My friends said he would probably never ask me out because of the intimidation of the workplace, so I took the iniatitve and asked him over for dinner. It went really well. A few weeks later he asks me out to a fancy dinner, as a "thank you" for helping him so much on his thesis research. He made up this cute invitation by power point slide, picked me up at my house, open the car doors for me, seated me, the whole 9 yards.
A few days after our "big" date, we see eachother at his graduation ceremony. I congratulate him afterwards. He asks "what are you doing tonight?" and I stupidly respond "probably sleep". We talk for a little more and not wanting to hang around too long as his friends were with him, I say "I'll let you go." So he says he will call me before he takes off for vacation. In fact, he said it twice during our conversation. Now it's been over a week and no call. I assume he's left. I'm just really hurt.
Things were really taking off so I don't understand what went wrong. My friend says maybe he was never seriously interested and is just a player, because he's a well off, nice looking 40 year old Bachelor. But part of me thinks he is somewhat shy.
Thoughts?

Pages
Words are important. Actions are important. The most important thing to see is how actions reinforce/backup his words. If they are consistent and he follows through, then you have something concrete to go on.
I'm having trouble understanding why it's appears to be so hard for you to accept the idea that he might have been interested, but has perhaps changed his mind.
I guess you have never felt caught up on a first second or third date in the romance of the evening, only to wake up the next day and realize that it just wasn't going to work for you, for whatever reason - I have, more than once, and I have never felt that I lead someone on by being caught up that early on then changing my mind. It's called dating.
So instead of dealing with the hurt, I began focusing on this new guy whom I have actually known for over a year. I thought, finally, a decent guy! I just kept bumping into him everywhere I went. All the attention and flirting he gave me was flattering. I thought, maybe he's "the one." It's my own fault I have set so many expectations on him.
Ah, ok!
After 3 weeks of not hearing from him, I had assumed it was over and gave up.
He comes in last week to my work with a gift from his trip and invited me out to dinner both Friday and Saturday night. He never called as he was sick with the cold/flu for a week and then left for vacation. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.
I have no idea what will happen long-term, but just goes to show you can't fret over things and overanalyze things (which I always manage to do)....time will always tell you the answer one way or the other.
Pages