Is he busy,absent minded or just a jerk?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2006
Is he busy,absent minded or just a jerk?
1
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 4:51pm

I met a guy just before Thanksgiving via an online dating service HE contacted me. He is working on the opening of a resort, in February...but from his description of his work day, it sounded as though he's pretty free, time wise although he does spend 3 months down there.
We had our first date which was great-he asked me out again before the date ended. BUt for JANUARY

a series of mishaps occured. One: My e-mail was down for 3 weeks but in the sense that I could send but not receive. And people rather randomly received my e-mail. Of course, he did not receive my response to his post-date e-mail and I did not receive his.
Turns out that the event to which he had invited me was in fact in December, but he space that out. He also forgot to ask both my last name and phone # so had no way of reaching me and so gave up.

I had his # so called him after a few weeks had gone by and I found out my e-mail had died and explained it. By way of making up for it, I said, look, I don't usually ask guys out but...let me make it up to you (he'd gone to the event to which he'd invited me feeling sad, he said) and so invited him to a pre-christmas party.

Again-we had a GREAT time. He talked about my coming down to the resort, to going to movies, dinners, discussions we'd have. We even had a discussion about sex in which I DID say that I wanted to get to know people, these days. His response seemed mature at the time-"that's okay. Men get hurt too. We have time"
The date ended well...he said "when I come back, I'll have to call you and ask YOU out on a real date". The next am a great e-mail in which he said he'd "talk to you soon" and ended with "warmly'.

By mid-Jan...I was beginning to wonder whether my e-mail was messed, again. I sent him an article via e-mail about something I thought would interest him. No reply.
I finally called his cell which went straight to voicemail, meaning he is either away or did go to S. E. Asia on a trip he'd said he MIGHT take in January for business. I just said hi, I met this great guy and we had a fab date in January and I was really looking forward to getting to know him this spring, but..I haven't heard from him and given our tragic past with bad emails, etc, I thought I'd call. Then I just said, look, you might be terribly busy but I'd love to hear from you. However, if I misread the signals then I wish you all the best.

Nothing.

I know he is definitely not in NYC.
Do I give up?
Is he a jerk, really busy (he did say he was away 3 months of the year)or am I the idiot for wanting to go out with someone like this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-22-2004
Wed, 02-01-2006 - 6:12pm
Sorry Missy, but just give up. I don't care if he was on a different planet, if he wanted to contact you, he would find a way, and you have left several messages for him, and he hasn't returned your phone calls, there is your clear message from him. Don't bother with the crap, leave it alone.