He can't spell.....now what

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2012
He can't spell.....now what
6
Wed, 01-02-2013 - 9:32pm

I recently started texting a guy offline that is graduate level educated and a practicing lawyer at a local law firm. Well, I have a huge issue with his horrible spelling. My initial thought was ok it is a typo. After the 2nd batch of emails I thought possibly he "text talks" or whatever you call it. Now I am fairly certain he is incapable of spelling correctly. The words are fairly simple like tomorrow spelled as tomrow. Simple words that truly should be spelled correctly. Would you date someone who could not spell? Am I being totally harsh for it being such a turn-off? Or would you do the same?  I'm considering canceling out our date. I would think that level of education would reflect in how he both speaks and writes. Wrong or right?

Avatar for floridagirl52
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-16-2006
Thu, 01-03-2013 - 6:47am

If you like him otherwise, I'd say keep the date.

I'll admit, poor spelling is a turn off to me, especially if a man claims to be highly educated. But I can think of a couple of intelligent men I know who really can't spell, and one of them constantly posts on Facebook. I think some people may have learning disabilities that render them almost incapable of spelling. I am surprised that this man is a lawyer--that seems like a profession you'd need strong writing skills for. Is he possibly new to texting? Some people have really fat fingers and it's hard for them to type, or they just can't be bothered correcting their mistakes.

I am currently on match.com. I find that bad grammar and spelling are usually accompanied by a lack of sophistication in general. I don't mean to sound judgemental, but I'm more interested in men who are more worldly. Otherwise, I just don't think we'll have enough in common.

Here's hoping I haven't misspelled anything in this post. I'll admit I'm not the greatest speller, but I know it and I'll look words up. Of course, these boards used to have spell-check, but since they redid everything, we no longer have that, and I miss it.

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012
Thu, 01-03-2013 - 11:23am

SiaLv82 wrote:
<p>I recently started texting a guy offline that is graduate level educated and a practicing lawyer at a local law firm. Well, I have a huge issue with his horrible spelling. My initial thought was ok it is a typo. After the 2nd batch of emails I thought possibly he "text talks" or whatever you call it. Now I am fairly certain he is incapable of spelling correctly. The words are fairly simple like tomorrow spelled as tomrow. Simple words that truly should be spelled correctly. Would you date someone who could not spell? Am I being totally harsh for it being such a turn-off? Or would you do the same?  I'm considering canceling out our date. I would think that level of education would reflect in how he both speaks and writes. Wrong or right?</p>

could it be that because he's in grad school and a lawyer at a law firm that he uses abbreviated spellings in order to get through the mountain of notes he has to take for his work and that he doesn't flip out of it or is conscious that he's not spelling in formal English when he communicates with you?  What about how he speaks? Can he construct coherent sentences? Is he easy to understand? Does he use the right words to convey his thoughts to you?  That would be far more important than text messaging. 

I think you're looking for a reason to ditch the date and keep it moving. If that's what you want to do, then cancel the date and quit seeing him. Otherwise, it's rather superficial on its face, considering that he may have a good reason for truncating his words for efficiency's sake.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 01-03-2013 - 11:37am

I think you should wait to see how he seems in real life--some people can't spell (maybe he has dyslexia) but it doesn't necessarily mean they aren't smart.  And if being a bad speller is the worst you can say about someone, well, yes I think you are being superficial.  By the way, did you check to see that he actually is a lawyer?

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Thu, 01-03-2013 - 5:50pm

  You can load spellck to your browser.  I run Firefox and go to add ons and there are plenty of help. Other browsers have that ability too.  I can't key very well so for me it is a necessity.  For me finding a person in the same stage of enjoyment that I am in.  Go out for coffee he may have great verbal skills!

dragowoman

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Thu, 01-03-2013 - 8:03pm

I am betting he can spell. He just might be pressed for time, so he abbreviates and doesn't proofread. Lawyers, especially at the beginning of their careers, can work long hours.

If you otherwise like him, I'd still give him a chance.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2011
Fri, 01-11-2013 - 9:39am
There is a major difference between recognizing letter patterns required of spelling and upper level critical thinking skills which involves the ability to understand concepts. To become a lawyer, someone has to have the discipline to go through years of college, incorporate a tremendous amount of knowledge to pass the exam and then continue with interpretation of law and the analysis skills needed for each client's case. Yet none of that occurred to you since you did not mention these possibilities.
 
Instead you can't get past his spelling which may be due to a learning disability or may be due to the fact that he has learned to rush since he probably writes all the time with his job. Both of which also didn't occur to you. In other words, no, I don't think you should go out with him. This guy is going to be too intelligent and you seem to lack the ability to expand outside your narrow thinking to understand concepts outside yourself. Maybe it would be better if you can find a third grade teacher to date and spend an evening discussing the proper use of "their" or "there."
 
By the way, this isn't meant to sound harsh. Just calling it as it appears.