Is he Cheating on me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2004
Is he Cheating on me?
1
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 3:43am
Okay I'm having a serious problem I think my Boyfriend is cheating on me but since we are in a long distance relationship I really don't have proof. Okay he's stationed overseas and well when I'm going to work he's just getting off work when I get home from work he's already in bed. He's 6 hours ahead of me and this is the thing lately I suspect something is going on like he's cheating or something or not being faithful and it was bothering me. So Tues morning he came online saw I was online and logged off right away didn't even bother to message me so I called him and I was like I need to talk to you and he's like can it wait and I'm like no we are talking now so he said okay.

I flat out asked him if he was cheating or being faithful to me and I said I might not like the answer if you are cheating but since our relationship is based on honesty I'd rather you tell me the truth now then I find out later you were lying. He said no I'm being faithful to you he didn't get mad or defensive when I asked him he just said no I love you there is no one else. This is the thing he's overseas so yeah sometimes Cell Phone reception is crappy he always tells me I can call whenever I want and then he leaves his phone on when he's at work. I don't like to call a lot when he's at work because I know he's busy but the times I do call it always says the person is unavailable not all the time sometimes I can get thru and I asked him about that and it says it either means the phone is turned off or I'm out of the signal area.

So, the other night after I confronted him about cheating and he said he wasn't he told me to call him at a certain time and when I tried to call he didn't pickup the phone and he does that a lot like he will tell me to call and then he won't answer the phone. Since he's hours ahead of me usually the times he tells me to call are when he's at work so he can't always answer the phone and he said sometimes he's just busy and can't always get to the phone so do you think maybe I'm overreacting a little. He answers when I call and the other night he said I don't want you to think I'm avoiding you sometimes I'm just busy and can't always answer. I don't want to think he's cheating but it's just weird he doesn't call as much anymore or not as much as he used to he will promise to call and then he won't call I won't hear from him for days at a time he'll tell me to call on certain times then he just won't pickup the phone. I asked him flat out if he was getting tired of me I said it would suck to hear you say that but I'd rather hear it then me to keep chasing you thinking nothing is wrong. I do admit I have been bitchy towards him lately and bitching at him for not picking up the phone or not making more time for me. When a woman is bitchy towards a man can that make him pull away? He told me that if he doesn't answer the phone when I try to call it's not that he's avoiding me it's just that sometimes he's busy and can't answer the phone. He just told me yesterday morning he loves me very much and that he wished he were here with me. Is it possible I'm overreacting a little and should maybe calm down or do I have a right to be suspicious?

We've been together 6 months and I find the times that i'm nice and simply tell him what it is that I want he's more responsive to me and is more willing to talk to me but when I bitch at him he doesn't want to talk as much. He assured me he is being faithful and he loves me we talked the other night on the phone for 40 minutes and he was talking about our wedding and he how he already knows who his best man will be and he talked about having kids with me. My friend's think I should give him a taste of his own medicine and don't call him and be aloof with him and just keep myself busy and let him see how it feels. Is it possible he could be cheating does it sound like or do you think me bitching at him constantly for not doing what I want may be the reason he is pulling away?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 7:48am

I should have read this post before your "cell phone signal" post.

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