Is he cheating or just stupid?
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| Thu, 08-26-2004 - 12:29pm |
Then he said, "Oh, yeah, what else? Oh, he also thinks I had a girl in my
room last night."
I said, "Why would he think that?" and was thinking to myself, Why would you
even bring that up if you know he's going to forget about it?
He said, That's just his dementia, and there's no arguing with him when he
thinks he's right.
Then he broke our date tonight, dinner and donating blood. He said we could get together after I finished donating blood, and we could do other stuff together, tonight. He got all disparaging and defensive when I fell silent, acted like I was freaking out.
Is he just stupid or is he trying to cover his tracks?
There are one of two things going on here:
1.His grandfather is starting to register the fact that I have spent the night before but has a hard time remembering when, or
2.He had a girl in his room last night and is trying to cover his tracks in case his Grandfather brings it up in front of me.
There are some additional things to consider:
1.I have spent the night over there twice but he his grandfather has never seen me until the morning. Once he did see me going into B/F's old bedroom - in the morning.
2.His parents moved in a few weeks ago, and are sleeping in his old room and he is sleeping in what used to be the office. He could think the parents are B/F and another girl.
3.Also, with his parents AND grandfather there something like bringing girls home would be extra hard to do, but maybe his parents are "cool" and would not question anything he did. They also take lots of pills, so I think they sleep heavily.
4.He is not a "player". He claims to never have cheated, he hates going to bars, he's been in a series of monogamous relationships, and he claims to care deeply for me.
But, it just seems to me like there was no reason to bring this up unless he felt guilty, and plus he overreacted when I got quiet. My day just took an awful turn. Please help.

This is you two having a casual relationship - this is NOT something that is long-term and has "potential to develop".
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
There absolutely was no reason for him to bring it up at all. So odds are good he just wasn't thinking. He got quiet because he realized what he'd said and what it might conjure up in your head. As you say, he is not a player.However, you probably won't rest until your doubts are laid to rest. In which case you want to bring it up again in a casual, non-blame way to get this out of your system.
Why are you so suspicious? Has anyone cheated on you in the past? You just want to think about the source of your doubts and how much he has to do with them.
Every time, that I've just "known" deep inside that something is wrong, turned out to be right.