Is He Confused? Or Messing with My Head?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2004
Is He Confused? Or Messing with My Head?
2
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 12:37am
I was dating a guy for about 6 months. And during this time we fell in love. It was my first love in fact. Recently this guy told me he didn't want to be with me anymore, which came to me as a shock. I don't understand it, because every single time we're together, it's great, and everything clicks. We have great chemistry, and we have an amazing bond. This breakup happened recently, and I decided that i didn't want to call him, because i dont want to re-hash feelings. But to my surprise, he keeps calling me, finding excuses to talk to me. He also told me recently that he still loves me, and knows that our love is so incredible, and he said he knows he's stupid for doing this, for letting go of US, because we are so good together. He said something just doesn't feel right, and doesn't think we should be together. I don't know what to think, because he tells me he misses me, loves me, and wants to see me...

Is there hope maybe he just needs time to work things out with himself, or is this a lost cause?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-2004
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 6:50am
I feel he is playing a game and that isnot very kool!

I just went through the exact same thing. I know it makes absolutely no sense to you , it did not to me.

I feel that you should remain with no contact! Get out there and date and have some fun.

He is showing you his true color=big red flag! yield to that now before you get in deeper.

A man that loves you and WANTS TO BE WITH YOU, is NOT going to play games like this!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-22-2004
Sat, 10-23-2004 - 9:38pm
Well he's right about something just not being right with the relationship. I have a feeling though that he hasn't realized that what's wrong is him. Worst case scenario is this guy is a sadistic manipulator. Best case scenario is he's an emotionally schitzophrenic nutjob. Run screaming from the room, girl. You have to stop talking to this guy. Stop taking his calls. If you can't do that on your own, change your number so he can't call. Set up the filter on your email to send him straight to the trash. Don't talk to him and explain that you don't want to speak to him anymore. Nobody believes you don't want to talk to them if you're talking to them to do it. Don't see him at all. Avoid places where you know he is likely to be, just for a little while until he gets the point and you toughen up a bit. This is some serious passive-aggressive emotional napalm. At least you didn't marry the guy and spend years in the I love you/I hate you circuit. How someone sloves you can be just as important as the fact that they love you at all. Don't settle for mean or crazy -- and this guy is one of the two.