He did not invite me to wedding
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He did not invite me to wedding
| Mon, 04-05-2004 - 7:32pm |
Hi, my boyfriend of 5 months has 2 weddings coming up in early May. One is his cousin's and one is his best friend's. Well, he has not invited me to be his guest, and today, he mentioned the date of the wedding and I got the impression he was going alone. He said he had a wedding to go to that day. Well, we are pretty exculsively dating, so I figured I would be invited to these weddings, and I am sure he's able to bring a guest. I have not met his family yet, so maybe that is why he did not invite me to his cousin's. But his best friend's? I'm insulted about this, but I don't know how, or if, I should even bring it up. Does this mean he is not serious about me? Why would you not take your girlfriend to a wedding??? I have to add that I have met most of his friends and he has met mine. He invites me along with his friends and I have met the friends who are getting married in May once. If he definitely does not invite me (I'm sure by now it is not going to happen) should I tell him I feel like he must not view me as a girlfriend ? Do I even bring it up at all that I feel bad about it?

I wouldn't complain about not being asked to a wedding at this point, even if there are no parents involved. If he doesn't invite you after you've been together 8 months or so, then I would probably say something.
Anyway, if you are certain that he was allowed to bring a guest, then yeah, I do think it's odd that he didn't want to take you. What made you bring up a couple of weeks ago that you don't think he's too into coupledom? Do you think he's checking out of the relationship, becoming more distant?
Is this the first of his friends to get married? Has he been personally invited to a wedding before? Maybe he doesn't know what's expected of him. Or maybe he's a little rattled at the thought of his best friend and cousin getting married. Maybe that's got him thinking about how ready he feels for marriage. Maybe he expects you to go, and expects you to read his mind. Or maybe the families are keeping the events small and personal. Who knows?
You might ask him how he feels about his best friend getting married. And then take it from there.
Whatever it is, I seriously doubt his intention is to do something that would hurt your feelings. Personally, it wouldn't bother me, because I've found that going to weddings with boyfriends can end up feeling like spending Thanksgiving with someone else's family. My own family is enough, thank you!
Does that make sense?
Try to play it cool about the weddings. I'm confident (as confident as I can be having never met you two) that it's just a timing issue. If you've been integrated with his friends already, that's a good sign. Some of us have to take baby steps.
:) Good luck!
Ivy
georgiasugarbaby@yahoo.com
Now, the thing is different if he actually got invitations that said Mr. Tom Jones and Guest and he's taking someone else. That's an issue. But you don't seem to know how the invite was issued and you're getting all bent out of shape. You don't even know for sure if you're included. You can just ask him if you're going to be free to do other things on those days or if you need to get some appropriate attire for the receptions. You're jumping to a lot of conclusions...everything could be cleared up with a calm conversation. I kind of wonder at your phrasing of things in your post...he's your boyfriend, you are pretty exclusively dating (which means what exactly?!) and you're not sure if he considers you his girlfriend. You've got to get a lot more cleared up than these invites.