he didn't come home!!! ???
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he didn't come home!!! ???
| Sun, 04-25-2004 - 9:33am |
my fiance didn't come home last night after work... its 7:25 am... what am i to think.. he's been wanting a night out but staying out all night?.. isn't that over doing it? he didn't even tell me he was "thirsty" he told his brother on the phone. What do i do with him i've asked him to be courteous to let me know when he decides to go out.. with the expectation of coming home at a respectable hour, but no.. no call, no couteousness, no respect. then he wonders why i have troubles trusting him.. he doesn't give me anything to trust! i know were going to get into it when he gets back cuz the only thing on my mind is.. who's keeping him from coming home? is he cheating? i know he's been checking out his co-worker at work.. (he's a cook... co-workers are waitresses)what should i do.. advise please... i don't want to come off seeming like a controlling g/f but hey trust, respect is a 2 way street.. if i sound angry its a reaction to many situations like this

PS. and hey no worries lotsa fish in the sea ;)
All in all i think i over reacted some, just some. I'm still pissed that he didn't call to say he would be home late and that he was goin out with "friends" (co-workers) i'm even more choked that he didn't come home. However, my thoughts have changed since i made him ask his friends what happened that night since he doesn't remember. Embarassingly enough for him he asked.. and no one said anything, he felt awkward enough to find other work.
I would have felt supremely guilty if i made him leave that place for me. lol Insecure or what, yes maybe i admit it. But the point of my babbling is he said he left because he knows it wouldn't be good for our relationship. He wanted to do it too because it was awkward not knowing what went on. (he blacked out after 5 drinks... he was on medication at the time and didn't think it would have that kind of affect .. idiot) anyways...
I admire his intention to be quite frank with me that morning, he didn't try hide anything he answered all my questions without hesitation. of course i expressed my anger with him but the look of sincerity on his face while telling me what he thinks happened and the tears, i did what i felt was best... tell him i beleive him and accept his apology... letting him know i was still unsure about it all.
at this point of time i don't feel the doubt in my relationship as i did that morning, and a few days after that. I am also accepting the idea that he really did mean to come home after a few drinks before he blacked out. finally the mark on his chest that we labelled a hickey.. well its fading now, which leads to me think, maybe it wasn't a hickey afterall...(i think it was a bruise) and when he did wake up he said he was in a room by himself fully dressed except his socks. When i think back to when I first saw the mark.. it wa bluish not pitch red n purple like a bitch mark, but i over reacted, i was already pumped from his coming home close 9 in the morning. He over reacted too, we both didn't know what happened. I think he has suffered more then me, he could have been violated and never know who did it, a docotrs exam concluded that he wasn't sexually active that night and there was no mention about the mark.
Now we are still together, still getting married...he is more considerate of me too because hell what do i have to do these days, just sit at home and houseclean, care for the kids, think plus read these message boards, i don't work till fall laid off at the moment) its a daily thing, it can only get better if i make it better,(be less insecure) I'll tell you this much knowing that mark is fading like a bruise makes me believe even on a black out my man really does care and love me and that i shouldn't doubt that anymore... later