He didn't pay on the first date

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2004
He didn't pay on the first date
5
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 2:14pm
I went out for drinks with a guy that I met on an internet dating site. We had a great time and were at the bar talking for 5 hours. I thought things couldn't have been going any better, until the bill came and he let me pay for half. I always offer to pay but most often the guy insists on paying. It really bothers me that he accepted my money even though we only went out for drinks, not even dinner. Was this a deal breaker or should I go out with him again?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 2:21pm
I think a drink date is good safe first date.... and no, I wouldn't call it a dealbreaker- because ya'lls was the first meeting. If he is really interested, he'll want to ask you out again, and most likely, will want to pay. Give it time.

I would have noticed that as well- I had a similar situation with a first date- drinks....and it was happy hour, so cheaper. Our drink bill was an entire 8 dollars! And we split the bill..... I noticed it, but wasn't upset. Well, the guy was interested in me, but well, not intersted enough..... He liked going out with younger, dumber girls because he could have his way quickly and take them to cheap places and still get sex rather easily and quickly. It CAN be a reflection of other things- and in my experience, it often is. I had another guy do this and he constantly 'forgot' his wallet, etc.... others, were to cheap to offer to drive or pick me up, etc.... on and on.

Just wait and see, its too soon to tell.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 4:49pm
If you offer, and he accepts, but you didn't really mean it, then you need to take responsibility for offering when you didn't mean it, rather than putting it on him for accepting your offer. How is he to know that you didn't really mean it????

I never offer unless I *want* pay half.

I would give him another chance. But don't offer next time!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 5:36pm
This reminds me of a conversation I had with a girl pal of mine. I had just broken up with my boyfriend and I was telling her how he doesn't seem to care. Her response to it, "he must of cared, he bought you a lot stuff." When does the exchange of monetary value determines the worth of a person's feeling.

What I'm trying to say is that, there are some who can afford to pay but won't offer much and then there are other's who can't and their presence is priceless. So, you had a good time right, right. That's the only thing that should of been the last thought of your mind.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 5:44pm
Personally, it was your first date. And if you offered to pay or not he should have paid.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2004
Mon, 10-11-2004 - 6:54pm
It was only your first date, I wouldn't make too big a deal out of it and give him another chance. if it bothers you that much, don't offer to pay again.