He doesn't take dates seriously
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| Sat, 07-07-2007 - 7:15pm |
My boyfriend has absolutely no respect for my time and he takes me for granted. The problem is that he sees no problem pushing our plans back or canceling them to do things for his family. One example is last weekend we made plans to go to dinner and a movie. His cousin calls and tells him that his back is out and he needs bf to come over and clean his yard (a routine he and cousin had before we met.) So, bf tells the cousin he'll be over in about an hour. I had wanted to go to the movies earlier in the day and have an early dinner but he didn't even consult me on his decision. I felt that it was rude because I had made the plans with him a week before and his cousin didn't give him any notice or even ask if he already had plans. I realized that his back was out and I feel sorry for that but cleaning the yard is not a dire emergency and didn't warrant changing our plans. My boyfriend told me that he didn't think that it would be a problem and that he figured we could just go out later in the day. My bf has had a pattern of doing this since we started going out last year. I've had countless discussions and arguments with him about this but he just apologizes and then proceeds to do it again.
We'll make plans to meet at 5:00p.m and he will not call or show up until around 7 or 8:00 and when I call him, he doesn't answer his phone. Then when I ask what happened, i'll hear something like, "I went to help (so & so) clean the yard" or "I went to "so & so's" house to fix the computer or "I went to do laundry and grocery shopping and it took longer than I expected." Meanwhile, i've been sitting at home dressed and ready to go for 2 hours and all I get is an apology. When we make plans he always goes off and does 5 others things and getting back to me is always the last thing on the list. He claims that it's bad time management but I call it just plain rude. I've tried telling him how I feel already but it hasn't worked. What should I do?

Talking obviously isn't working. I'd say the next time he does that, you don't "sit at home dressed and ready to go for 2 hours." He wants to show up two hours late, he can go out by himself. But if you go ahead and go with him, even though you're complaining, that's not syaing a whole lot except that you're okay with it and that your time is not worth respecting.
The day YOU start valuing your time, he will too.
~~.: Sandra :.~~