Is he fishing for clues?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
Is he fishing for clues?
5
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 5:01am
Hi all, I dialed my ex boyfriend for the first time in a month and a half by accident and hung up. I love this man ( he broke up with me) and want him back. He broke up with me because I was too confused at the time and I needed to get perspective, basically bad timing. Well the next morning he calls and says I noticed you called just wanted to check in and make sure you are okay, I miss you haven't talked to you in a while and happy easter and if you need to talk about anything whatsoever please do call me. Well I emailed him said I speed dialed by accident and such. He then wrote back saying that is the shortest email you have ever wrote how are you?how are your parents? how is your work? how is life? For some reason I keep on feeling like he is fishing for clues to see if I am still interested. After we broke up he sent me an email saying maybe the role he plays in my life is that of a big brother and I can always call upon him if there is anything I need ( he wrote this 3 weeks ago). I haven't seen him since the break up I just email and such. have gone on a couple of dates with a couple of men but my heart is still his. Not sure how to handle this. I was told that if a man want's a women back he will let her know but he broke up with me because he I was so uncertain and he got fed up , I am thinking this is all a test .Every week for the past month he has called or left and email asking to see me and have dinner with me and I have told him I can't but he keeps on insisting with a I miss you and wants me to start Iming him. Is that something Anyone have any clue what he is thinking? Thanks


Edited 4/12/2004 2:30 pm ET ET by natash9
Avatar for bratgirl2002
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 6:58am
He's not fishing for clues. Please try not to project. He is making small talk, wanting to know how your life is going. I dont see ANY hidden meaning. After all, its not like he contacted you out of the blue...you were on his caller ID thus prompting his return phone call and return email.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 10:08am
I don't think this is a "test" or he wants you back. I think that is wishful thinking on your part. He broke up with you, and three weeks ago said he is like a big brother to you - why would you read his calling you after you hung up on him to mean he wants you back?? It sounds to me like he cares for you as a friend but is not interested in you romantically.

I think he called back b/c he is concerned about how you are doing, not anything more. Take him off of your speed dial so that you don't have any more dialing accidents, and move on with your life.


Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 10:23am
I've followed your posts about this man, and you've mentioned several times that he is friends with all of his exes and made a big deal about wanting to be friends with YOU following your breakup. Given that, there's no basis for thinking that he is asking those questions for any other reason than because he cares about you as a friend.

Time to take his number off your phone, don't you think?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-17-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 2:27pm
I also forgot that every week for the past month he has called or left and email asking to see me and have dinner with me and I have told him I can't but he keeps on insisting with a I miss you. Is that something?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-12-2004 - 2:30pm
It's completely consistent with his clearly expressed desire to be friends.

Sheri