Is he going to marry me or not?
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Is he going to marry me or not?
| Fri, 07-02-2004 - 10:10pm |
Help!! Based on your article on marriage material men, my man scored directly in the middle. He has finished sowing his wild oats and he treats me like a husband would, we already have kids (he has 2 and I have 4) but he has never been married. He also jokes about how we are getting married on the second (you know, the second he knows he has to) and even though I have an engagement ring and he calls me his fiancee and he has me call his parents Mom and Dad, he still doesn't want to take that last step. I know he is afraid that I will try to take all his money (he doesn't have any right now) if we get married and he can't stand the idea of sharing everything 50/50. He is otherwise very thoughtful, very loving and romantic and is a good stepdad to my kids, so I am very very confused. What should I expect?
Signatures On
| Fri, 07-02-2004 - 11:03pm |
Reality check....Taking a test and seeing the results won't tell you if your man will marry you dear. You should be looking at what he says and does. You have a ring and call him fiance and he calls you same, mom and dad and such...but do you have a date for marrying? If not, you're not engaged and you won't marry. Your message lets see a lot of things...he's not ready even though he says but jokingly. You "wait" but how much longer? Time to think in giving him an ultimatum: we marry by.....date....or you move out.
| Sat, 07-03-2004 - 11:07am |
Oh boy do I see this in a lot of relationships I know, including one of my own. However, the tables were turned and it was me who drug my feet for 2 years after that ring was on my finger. Could he (along with other reasons he gave) be scared of it "not" working out after the marriage? Has he had a previous marriage that ended in divorce? I was with my ex for three years, we were engaged 6 months into it and it was me who wouldn't go that last step--but my reasons were that I had just gotten divorced 6 months before I met him and at first I was just not ready to go there yet, even though I loved him and did want to marry him..I was not ready and I was scared because I didn't want another divorce EVER IF it was possible in my life...I wanted to be absolutely sure before I made that last step. (my first marriage lasted 8 years, 3 kids..and we got married in 6 months of meeting -way to soon.) All I am saying is try not to be hard on him or push him--cause I'm telling you if my ex had pushed me, then I would have been out the door!! I was almost to the point of being ready and we even set a date, then I started college (kind of a last minute thing) and he just lost it and left me....for different reasons---but I had decided that I would not marry him until after I got out of college (which would be two more years) I thought once I got out--we would have more money for a nicer wedding, more money period---but this was unexceptable for him and he ended it. So maybe my story helped you to see possibly his side a little more clearly, even though the circumstances may not be the same---don't assume he won't follow through or that he may not fully love you. Maybe he's having some "issues" on his own. I hope this helped some. Good luck.
| Sat, 07-03-2004 - 4:05pm |
I've been there and done that. i think the only reason he proposed to you was to have that to dangle infront of you to keep you by his side. (ie: he doesn't want to commit to you, but he doesn't want someone else to commit to you, either). I dumped him and moved on and met a wonderful guy. We only broke up because of his job moving him overseas.
