He had another girl there yesterday!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2003
He had another girl there yesterday!!!
2
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 8:51pm
So I'm in this relationship that has evolved into a great friendship. We have discussed trying to evolve into something more, but always agree that it's good the way it is right now. This girl kept calling him and he told me that she is not interested in him and that he would never be with her because of how different they are. But then this morning he told me that he was with her all night last night and that he kissed her. I was at a bar with some girlfriends last night and this guy gave me his number. I had no intention of calling him or anything like that so I told my guy. And that's when he told me about the other girl. We had already discussed what he had done last night and there was no mention of a girl. We have never agreed on not seeing other people, but both of us have not. Is he just trying to get me jealous because a guy gave me his number? Or is he secretly saying "I want to move on"?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Tue, 10-12-2004 - 9:03pm
What he's saying is "I can kiss other women because our relationship is one of a great friendship and not of a commited bf/gf. I don't have a commitment to you so I can see other people and do what i want to do". If you want a gf/bf relationship with exclusivity and commitment tell him now. These revelations of the guy number and the kiss to the girl are something that have happened because you're not exclusive, there is not verbal agreement on not seeing other poeple so you in other words are "dating casually".
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-21-2004
Wed, 10-13-2004 - 8:49am
Why didn't you want to call the guy who gave you his number? Was it because you weren't attracted to him or because you think you're "taken"? (By the way, it sounds to me like you are very much single, so if you liked the guy, you should call him. ;) ).

Second question: Why did you feel the need to tell "your guy" about it? Were you hoping he'd get jealous?

The fact that he told you about the other girl right after you told him about the other guy giving you his number and your telling him that you have "no intention of calling him" shows that he wants you to know that he thinks you should move on and he wants to as well. It's not that he's "secretly" saying it - he IS saying it.

I don't think he's trying to make you jealous. It sounds like you've made your intentions clear to him - he doesn't HAVE to make you jealous because he knows you want to be with him.

It does not sound like he wants to be in a relationship with you.

For what it's worth, I think you SHOULD call the other guy. ;)

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