He Has never Said I love you

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
He Has never Said I love you
2
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 3:29pm
I have been with my boyfriend for three years now, and he has never said I love you. When I ask him about it, he says I am supposed to say it first. I am the type of person who has always waited for the man to say it first. We live together and seem to have a good relationship, but he has never said it. Am I just wasting my time? Should I say it first and see what happens? I dont know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-26-2004
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 5:32pm
How old are you two? Three years is a long time for both of you to be playing this childish game (I won't say it until you say it first). If he hasn't said it on his own by now...exhale! (ie, stop holding your breath). Plan to live your life exactly how it's being lived right now. You've been with him long enough to know the layout of the relationship.

Now and in the future, use this as your rule of thumb: It doesn't matter WHO says ILY first. What matters is that nobody says it until they truly mean it, and nobody says it ONLY to hear the other person's response. Say it if you mean it, but don't expect to hear anything back at all. If you can do that comfortably and confidently, then you're ready to say it to someone.

My 2¢.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 10-26-2004 - 9:32pm
Have you asked him where he came up with the theory that the woman says it first? How did he broach the idea of living together? Did he talk about affection and caring at all? How is he in other ways - do his actions say love? Does he treat you well? Is it a nurturing partnership?

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