Is he interested??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Is he interested??
3
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 10:41am
So here is the background info: I dated this man about 3 years ago, for about 2 months. It was wonderful, until we had a misunderstanding. Then we stopped dating. We got together 2-1/2 years ago again it was wonderful. He agreed but there were emotions with the divorce (whatever). We recently met up again and have gone out twice and again it's wonderful. I'm trying not to be too psychotic, but since our 2nd date, I haven't heard from him (it's been 1-1/2 weeks now). He has his kids half of the week, and is leaving for a big overseas business trip this weekend, so I know he's a busy man. I'm also busy entertaining out of town guests staying at my house (which he knows about). I did leave him a message at his work place saying how busy we were, but I wanted to wish him a good and safe trip, call me when you get back.
Knowing that men and women don't think/act the same (even though I am busy "I" found time for a quick phone call), what next? I imagine he won't call before his trip because he'll be "too busy".
So what do I do when he returns from the trip? If he doesn't call after a week or so, do I call him and ask him out?
I really don't want to let this die. We really are great together and when we are together there is absolutely no indication from his side that he is not interested -- quite the contrary.
We're not kids (mid 40s) and I hate having dating dilemmas at this stage in my life. But this man is different and I don't want to give up. I really think he's interested, how can he be so attentive and romantic and interested, and then stop.
Anyway, sorry to ramble. Any advice would be appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 11:14am

Okay, let's recap.

3 years ago you dated for 2 months, then a "misunderstanding"
2.5 years ago you dated, then there were "emotions with the divorce"
Now fast forward to today, gone out twice and now no communication.

This guy has a track record and it isn't a very good one. He is used to dating you a few times and then vacating the premises. You are apprehensive for a very good reason. Perhaps he isn't good at sustaining a relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 11:41am
chamey, good point. And if it were someone else, I probably wouldn't be so apprehensive (his track record stinks). So I want to help him along to sustain a relationship with ME. But don't want to be a psyco-woman. So.... I take a chance and when he returns (and doesn't call) I call him and ask him out?
I want to try to have a longer relationship with him and am not willing to let it die again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Wed, 10-12-2005 - 12:13pm

It takes 2 people to have a relationship, and one of them doesn't seem to be cooperating. You may call him when he returns but do you want to force this man to have a relationship with you?

He comes and goes.