is he interested?????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2007
is he interested?????
2
Tue, 09-11-2007 - 5:55pm

Hi. I'm 28 and have (apart from a few brief flings) always being single. A few weeks ago, I was at a wedding. I was a bridesmaid as I am a good friend of the bride. The bride and her husband had always been telling me about one of his colleagues that they thought I might be interested in. They told me he was a really nice guy and could vouch for him that he was the faithful type, not a womaniser and extremely decent etc. They told me he was going to their wedding. So, at the wedding, I sought him out and we got chatting and I thought he was really nice and we got on well. Nothing happened that night but at the party the next day, we got together. We got on really well and discussed meeting up again. However, one thing led to another and we both got pretty drunk. Although we technically didn't sleep together, we did lots of other stuff in his hotel room that night (big mistake I know). Anyway, the next morning, I left quite quickly. we didn't swap numbers although he was still quite friendly towards me that morning and wasn't acting like he'd got what he wanted and didn't want to see me again. I'd been thinking about him quite a bit but had no way of contacting him. When my friend got back from honeymoon she told me that he'd asked her husband for my number. But he never contacted me. So I got his number and contacted him. Sent him a text but got no reply. The same evening, I was chatting that same friend and she told me that he'd been quite descriptive to her husband about stuff that had happened in bed with me that night. So I texted him again to tell him what she told me and I told him not to contact me and that I'd thought better of him than that (mistake no. 2 I suppose). Anyway, suddenly I get a reply with him claiming he never said that - got three separate texts saying he hadn't said any such thing and I had my wires crossed. Of course I still liked him (mistake no. 3) so I said we'd just forget about it and asked if he'd like to meet up. He said yeah but wouldn't name a date. A few days later I texted him again and blatantly told him I liked him and asked him what the deal was. so he texted back and said he didn't want to get into anything serious for a while but would hang onto my number if I didn't mind.

What is the story? Was he trying to let me down gently or does he intend calling me in the future or does he genuinely have no respect for me now because I basically let him have almost what he wanted the night we were together. Anybody got any suggestions? Am I stupid to even want anything to do with him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Tue, 09-11-2007 - 9:00pm

You had another fling. Sometimes flings evolve into more, but usually they dont or just a longer fling.

You are not stupid for wanting to see him again. But you need to determine who was telling the truth your friend or him.

He may or may not want to see you again. If you have texted him stating that you liked him and he didnt jump on it, I'd venture to say that he may not want to continue anything with you. Texting is so impersonal, why not call a guy in the future and speak to him live and in person. You may get a better read on his response. Just a suggestion.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-03-2003
Tue, 09-11-2007 - 11:36pm
Yeah, he probably is not interested. Don't feel bad for your actions. People do weird stuff when they like somebody, myself included. I just wish the alcohol induced behavior had not happened though. The truth is, if he just got out of a long term relationship, then chances are, he doesn't want to jump into another one. Maybe he sees you as somebody who will want a long term and I am sure with you coming out and telling him that you like him kinda proved his point. Maybe he will call you in the future when he's ready for something solid...that's if you will still be available then. As for your friend telling you that he told her husband about what happened the night of the party, how else would your friend had known if something wasn't said? Since I am guessing it was just you two in the room, who else could have said it if not you?