Is he interested? Never spoke to him.
Find a Conversation
| Wed, 01-04-2006 - 1:46pm |
New Years Eve Party, I met this guy I couldn't take my eyes off. Extremely fab looking.
Different from the rest. I felt attracted to him. I knew him by name (unbeknownst to him) since he writes for this magazine. I know what he does, where he works at, etc. since I had read a profile on him. When I finally saw him, my heart just skipped several beats. We were never introduced. We happen to belong to this association. Our only common link. He was with his friends at the party, and I was hanging out with a guy friend of mine. Several times, I noticed him glancing in my direction. There was a definite "something" between us, even though we never got a chance to communicate "verbally".
Towards the end of the party, I noticed that his back was facing me, while he danced with his buddies. All the other times, he was always "facing me" when he danced.
Why did he decide to turn his back on me?
Was this an "intentional" thing? to make me wonder? Was he playing hard to get? :-) I know girls do this sometimes, but do guys do it too, intentionally? Was he disappointed about something? Or was he simply "not interested" anymore. Upto that point, the vibes I got was very positive.
Is it possible that he thought that the guy who was with me, was my Boyfriend?
Is a guy very likely to think that?
Also, I feel I made a terrible mistake by visibly showing my interest in him.
Is it possible that he got turned off with that?
Is a guy more likely to show an interest if the girl remains a tad distant and "pretends" to "not notice"? By showing my interest (glancing at him now and then and being acutely aware of his presence and whereabouts in the room) did I reduce my chances in any way?
The party ended, and we went our separate ways.
I feel helpless, nervous, excited. I have been thinking about him, and for some reason, I am very sure he is thinking about me too. Dont ask me how I know this. It's just a strong gut feeling. I am a million percent sure he saw something in me.
But I am confused about why he'd turn his back to me towards the end of the party.
I have no idea when I will ever bump into him. It depends on destiny now.
If ever I do, what should I do? Just play it cool? Take the initiative and extend a friendly greeting? Or wait for him to do the same? Should I show an interest in him?
I got strong vibes that he is a reserved person. Although, a cool and confidant one at that. Will he ever take an initiative. How can I let him know I am single so he doesn't get the wrong idea.
I want to get to know him more.
But I am afraid he thinks I am already taken.
Do advise...
Waiting in anticipation,
B.

I agree with you.
To the o.p., why not just go over and speak to him whenever you see him?
I know what it's like to be a secret admirer of someone. You either do something or you don't. I think talking to him and even introduce yourself to him may help.
Thanks for your inputs on this..
Yes...perhaps I should stop thinking so much, and remain positive, and wait for the chance when I meet him next. Being friendly and approachable sounds good. This way I leave the door open for him to come in if he wishes. If he still doesn't, maybe I will try to initiate a talk. I agree, that either we do something, or we don't.
Thanks everyone..
Any more thoughts?
I am thinking so much about him and his allure and mystery, it is crazy.
Hey there,
Don't despair.. this has happened to me many times! Sometimes you might think there is more to it than there was... but in any case, there is no harm in trying to fish around and find out about him. Something similar happened to me this summer only I had actually talked to the guy. I ended up finding him through a friend and we went out a couple of times. At least I got the chance to see him again! I am very creative and a true romantic at heart, but I can tend to be a little too overzealous, so take my ideas with that in mind!! : ) Here are a few crazy but fun things you could do - it's a free world and dating games can be played by both sexes if you ask me...
1. you could send a note to the newspaper he works for - send a letter to the editor or something talking about how you met a guy at this party, etc. and you are now searching for him. Or you could just plain send a new year's card to him at the paper saying how you met him on new year's and couldn't take your eyes off him. You could include the Damien Rice CD with the song, "The Blower's Daughter" ... in this very beautiful song that was played in the movie CLOSER, it says I can't take my eyes off you.. . But be forewarned that some guys may find this stalker-like, but i am a true believer that the right guy wouldn't find it intrusive and would actually think it really endearing.
2. Walk by his office every day at lunchtime in the hope that you will bump into him on the street carrying 2 starbucks coffees - one for you and one for him. And if it takes 10 days - every day that you don't see him you will give the 2nd coffee to a beggar on the street.
3. Ask around to all the people you knew at the party and I am sure you will find him that way - ask them to invite you both to the next social gathering, or ask for his email address.
4. Wait for fate to bring you both together again and try to forget him (I'm sure this isn't the best option for you if you're anything like me!)
Good luck and keep us posted!! Happy New Year.
You live in Harlequin romances and in fairy tales hon.
If the guy has any level of notariety in your local area or more - he knows that people know who he is.
He's not "staring at you" - he's not turning hi back on you intentionally playing hard to get.
The reality is - we "stare" at beautiful people, and "freaky looking people" and at people who are sending vibes across a room that totally unnerve us - and not in positive ways.
You were probably staring at him like a rabid dog...and he kept feeling eyes on the back of hi head and kept looking around, and you never approached.....and he's staring back - the way you would at a dog you're not sure ofwaht it's going to do - you don't want it to attack - so you stare it in the eye - you intimidate it back - and it skulks off.
The guy is NOT thinking about you. If he'd wanted you name and number, he' dhave gotten it that night. HE thinks you're a little psycho - if he even noticed you at all.
But you sound like you need romance and drama to make your hum drum life worth existing in - so you go on thinking he's dreaming about you, and trying ot find out your name,, whil you sit there by the phone awaiting his call. At least that keeps you off the street and out of the way of "real life" - I'm not sure you're ready to handle it .
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
Thanks Londoness75 and Erin for your responses..
Actually, no one was 'staring'. These were stolen glances...and very sweet ones at that. not the ones that can make one uncomfortable. Because it seemed extremely mutual, it was heart-warming and alluring n exciting. At one point, he left his buddies when he noticed me standing with my friend by the bar counter, and went to take a drink. He stood inches away from me. As he sipped his drink, he turned sideways and searched my face. I could totally sense it. But I did not look at him back, and continued talking to my friend. Such were the vibes. And I think the situation might have been different if I was by myself. Because I was with a male friend, he probably thought it wasn't a good idea to approach. In either case, he did seem the reserved kinds. I am shy myself to begin with. So I didn't take an initiative either. And then as the evening wore on, towards the end, I felt I lost this person. Maybe I was reading too much into his body language.
Londoness, those were some ideas! :-) I did think of a couple of those actually! Like writing to him at the publication, or even going around his workplace, but thought I might look kinda needy if I did that. And I dont wanna turn him off. A part of me says, if I can take that effort, he can too. If he really wants, he can find out about me.
If a long time passes, and I dont get a chance to meet him, then I will certainly think of doing "something" concrete and proactive to get in touch with him.
The only reason I am not going through "common friends" is becoz I don't want unnecessary gossip flying around.
wow, so many questions in your post that all point to the same thing: "is he interested?"
He may have found you to be attractive, but he isn't interested. Meaning, you can't be interested in someone whom you don't even know.
Additionally, as you said he's very good looking, he may very well have women looking at him often. A lot of guys might take the initiative with a girl who he keeps catching glances with; however, an exceptionally good looking person, who is used to people looking at his good looks, knows he's got the 'pick of the litter' and therefore may not be as inclined to take the initiative with all or any of 'em. Who knows how many other women he had passing glances with that night, kwim?
If he was there with the intention of meeting someone, he would have found someone to meet up with. He may have just been there to have a good time with his friends with no intention of meeting anyone.
<< I did think of a couple of those actually! Like writing to him at the publication, or even going around his workplace, but thought I might look kinda needy if I did that. And I dont wanna turn him off. >>
I would go the route of common friends or acquaintances who can put you guys in the same place again. Though I give londoness kudos for creativity, if someone whom I'd never met sent me a song, I'd think it was really weird (ie, potential stalker-type). Especially a song like that ("I can't take my eyes off of you" ... yes, I know the song ... if my BF played me that song, I'd think it was romantic ... but, coming from someone never met, it would be pretty weird).
Point is, don't try to 'force' a meeting. Yes, IMO, it would look needy or desperate. Remember, good things come to those who play their cards close to the vest and can be patient but deliberate when the time comes. Meaning, when/if you find yourself in the same room with him again ... strike while the iron's hot and take your chance in a casual but deliberate way (ie, initiate conversation if you have to but be cool about it).
Don't linger outside his office or send him a note. Just let it happen.
And by all means, don't obsess about it, k? Your numerous questions as to what he may have been thinking, etc ... simply means that you're giving someone you've never met much too much of your mindshare.
PS -- You may want to find out thru someone in common as to whether or not he's already attached. Guys who have GFs will often look but not do anything (the "good guys" at least!)