Is he interested or am I being silly?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Is he interested or am I being silly?
8
Sun, 11-07-2004 - 9:06pm
Hello =) I've posted at iVillage a few times before but nothing too recent.

Ok - here's my dillema. I'm trying to figure out if this guy is interested or just being really nice... the guy happens to be my oral surgeon and he's about 10 years older than me. He is the sweetest man! I'm not sure if he's just really nice with all his patients or if I'm 'special.' Ok here's why I think he might be interested. By the way - I'm 30 - a college graduate and have a good job... I'm not just wanting to date him because he's a doctor =)

Ok here goes ---

1. After my oral surgery he called my house practically every day for the next week until my appointment to see how I was doing. (I think this could mean he's just a really caring doctor.) I had all 4 wisdom teeth pulled and 2 adult teeth chisled out of the bone so the orthodontist could put brackets on them --- a lot of work.

2. My orthodontist's assistant made it a point to tell me that he's single and I should 'go for it' one day when I commented on how sweet he was when he came up to my orthodontits office to see how things were going because he was concerned because my car was still there over an hour after he had walked me up there. (He had just removed the bandages in my mouth and my orthodontist was putting a bracket on the adult teeth the surgeon had exposed and just taken the bandages off.) --- This is where I kinda perked up and think I might have started reading too much into things.

3. Last week I went back for my 2nd post-surgery follow up and he called me back instead of his assistant - not too big of a deal I guess but then he commented on how I'm always 'dressed up' and he's 'dressed like this' (and pointed to his scrubs) each time he seems me (I usually come from work for my appointments.) Ok --- now during the entire appointment I swear the man was grinning from ear to ear (he might always do this but this is the first I've really paid attention.)

4. This might be normal but then again... I'm not sure but he's having me come back for a THIRD post-surgery follow-up after he commented on how well I've healed. Granted I still have a little bit of numbness left but it's almost gone now... I thought he could just as easily have me call for an appointment if it doesn't go away... granted I don't mind going to see him =)

I was walking on air when I left his office - he's so sweet. I don't know if I'm just making something out of nothing or if there might be something there. I REALLY don't want to make a move and then look like a complete butt if he's not interested. Soooooooo what do you think?

Thanks! =)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 4:33pm
It's possible that this 40-year old surgeon is as sweet as honey with all his patients. Perhaps you're reading too much or imagining things due to his good manners and concern after your surgery. It is also posible that he is indeed flirting with you but that he's not that interested. If he wanted to ask you out he'd have done it already. If you're brave go for it, ask him out yourself.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 5:03pm
It looks like he likes you, but I'm not sure from what you have written if its a ROMANTIC kind of like. It looks like he has no problem picking up the phone to call you for appointments, etc...so I don't see why he wouldn't just ask you out for cofee or maybe lead the conversation into a "more than just patient" conversation.

I would give it until you are done with your appointments and see if he calls you up. GOOD LUCK!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 5:33pm
Hi,

Just my $.02 but I think he is definitely interested in you. He can be just very nice but in my opinion he is too concerned about you for it to be just routine. Maybe he's too shy to ask you out? I don't know, it seems that way to me. Do you have the courage to ask him out for coffee or something? I know I wouldn't but that is why we are all different. Good luck to you! Lucy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 7:03pm
Thanks everybody!

@ lucygirl2004 you know - when I had my first oral surgery with him like 9 months ago he followed up a couple times - directly after surgery and I only had ONE follow up appointment... I also acted different towards him - I had a boyfriend at the time and didn't look at him like THAT until my orthodontists assistant said stuff to me about him being single and to go for it and stuff. It's kinda cute - he sat down and was talking to me with the biggest smile on his face and was all self-conscious of how he looked - you know fixing his hair and stuff. You know what - come to think of it - he called himself each time to follow up with me (instead of having his assistants call) - even when I was back at work. He even commented on how I've healed so quickly yet I hav another follow up.

I think he's afraid of crossing that patient/doctor barrier himself and that if I want this to go anywhere I'm gonna have to make the move. I'm thinking of sending him a 'thank you' card when he finally has me stop making appointments (not that I mind going in to see him or anything) and maybe mention getting coffee or a drink sometime... kinda open the door for him but also make it sound like I just want to say thanks to him for being so caring so in the even he isn't interested I don't look like a fool.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 7:22pm
I think that sending him a thank you card (especially since he was so attentive) is a very nice gesture. Also, maybe I didn't see it in your first post but you mentioned that you had a boyfriend and his assistant kept telling you he was cute and to go for it??? Listen, do you think that maybe he told her about it and she's trying to play matchmaker? I certainly think so! I don't know about crossing the patient/doctor barrier... I think that only applies to teachers and students. My sister married her orthopedic doctor when she broke her leg. I just asked her how that all started and she said that he "called her all the time" to see how her leg was healing. I think all systems are go here. I wish you the very best. Lucy
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 7:30pm
Lucy -

I don't have the boyfriend anymore and my orthodontists assistant was kept up on the whole breakup. That would be awesome if she were trying to play matchmaker!! Thanks for the info about your sister! Ok - I'm going to have to have the guts to make a move here. Now I know for sure if he makes me come back for a fourth appointment then he is way interested =)
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2004
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 8:29pm
Good luck! Let us know?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2003
Mon, 11-08-2004 - 10:39pm
Thanks! And I will! =)

I have an orthodontist appointment wednesday and go back to see the oral surgeon again on thursday so I think I'm going to ask the orthodontists assistant if she's up to something here. You know, I would be SO happy to even go out with the guy once... the last several guys I dated were just losers and it would be nice to kind to go out with a nice guy for once =) I am sooooooooo nervous!!! He is so darn nice!! And when we were talking he was just grinning from ear to ear - he even asked me about his day and talked about his. So he's either overly-nice or he's digging me. Hehe.