He Just Disappeared!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2005
He Just Disappeared!
5
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 9:21pm

Hello all.

For the past 7 months, I've been dating a man who I have really started to get attached to. When we first met, he had been out of a 4 year relationship for 6 months and he admitted he was not over his ex. However, I (foolishly, I suppose), thought that things would get better over time. This month (July) was the month they broke up... so it's been a year now. He told me at the beginning of this month that he was having a really hard time still dealing with his relationship ending. He was very in love with this girl, going to marry her, and she broke his heart. The last time we hung out was at the beginning of this month and we *appeared* to have a really good time (no sex). I haven't heard from him since. Nothing. Not an email, phone call, text message... NOTHING. WTF? I thought at first he just needed a little space... so I made a concious decision not to contact him... BUT IT'S BEEN A MONTH SINCE WE LAST HAD CONTACT!!! What's worse, we were both on good terms last time we hung out. WHAT HAPPENED? We went out for 7 months!!! Any advice would be appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sun, 07-30-2006 - 11:14pm
Honey, you were the rebound. He's gone. Red flag: he was not over his EX and you assumed it would get better in time. All the time you dated he was thinking in his EX and the month of July brought a lot of memories. The man may be drunk over his loss at a bar or he may be looking for another woman to pour his heart out to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2005
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 12:03am
*groan*
This is leaving such a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I mean, we had GOOD TIMES for 7 MONTHS... AND THEN NOTHING!!! This is retarded. So hard to process. Do you think he'll come back eventually with an explanation? Has this ever happened to anyone else?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 12:12am

It's possible that he could come back to you, but the question is "Are you willing to take him back after this? How long are you willing to wait for this guy? If he coems back and gives you an excuse that you believe, would you get into a relationship with this guy again?

I've heard of guys and girls who disappear within the first 4 to 6 months. It appears that you guy had deeper issues.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2005
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 1:20am
So you've heard of this happening before then? What were some of the reasons? More than anything, I'm just so sad that this is what our "relationship" has come to and perplexed at the same time as to how I let myself become blindsided by this man. It's really disappointing :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Mon, 07-31-2006 - 4:16am
Well, there could be many reasons why a man "disappears" on a woman, but I'm speculating because the real reasons are with those men. They hold the answer. These type of men, though, seem not to have respect for the woman they're with. Some of them appear to be really interested at the beginning and then suddenly they change, calls start to diminish to then not be at all. Another reason could be that they may be dating more than one woman so when they pick the one they like they don't bother saying peep and leave the other(s) hanging. I myself had this occurred to me. Sadly it was around 6 months of dating a guy. I wondered what had happened. I cried for months and finally decided to give myself closure and moved on. Hard but possible.