He Just Doesn't Want Me
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He Just Doesn't Want Me
| Mon, 11-15-2004 - 1:06pm |
It is very painful for me to make this realization. But I have no choice but to face the obvious facts. I will give you a little history. Some of you may remember several months ago I had posted regarding a problem with my lover/landlord. To make a very long story seem not as long,, It went down like this..... I met this guy early in the year, we hit it off, quickly began a physical relationship, I caught feelings, thought he did too, continued with the physical relationship, Was told shortly after the onset that I should put my feelings in check.... Few more months down the road,,,, still sleeping with this guy, Feel like I'm in love with this guy, Friendship largely based on SEX.... Couple more monts down the line..... He asks me to move closer to him by renting his house,,, I happily comply... My thinking is " This is it, we are finally making some progress, maybe now we can set the stage to be more than just friends.... Fast forward... Present day
Been living in his house for 3 months,,, NO more sex, NO more friendship, We have a strictly landlord/tenant relationship now....
I am devestated and having a hard time understanding what went wrong. He knows what my feelings are for him, and he knew from the onset of us meeting that I was looking for more than a sex partner.
What I can not understand is what provoked him to STOP everything?
And furthermore.... Why would he even suggest that I move into his house( clearly putting us in contact at least once a month) if he didn't want to be bothered with me?
I feel like a big annoyance whenever I call him. Because I care for him I find it difficult to let it go. I k now that I should care for ME, and don't get me wrong I DO.
But there is something about him that makes me crave him, I know that if he would allow himself to get close to me we could have a great relationship.
Maybe he knows it too? I don't know....
I could use some advice, however MOVING is NOT an option. My children and I are more than satisfied withour new dwelling and neighborhood, and I REFUSE to cut my nose off my face just to spite him.
I would be more open to other suggestions though. I'm not sure if there are any logical explanations for his behavior.
Been living in his house for 3 months,,, NO more sex, NO more friendship, We have a strictly landlord/tenant relationship now....
I am devestated and having a hard time understanding what went wrong. He knows what my feelings are for him, and he knew from the onset of us meeting that I was looking for more than a sex partner.
What I can not understand is what provoked him to STOP everything?
And furthermore.... Why would he even suggest that I move into his house( clearly putting us in contact at least once a month) if he didn't want to be bothered with me?
I feel like a big annoyance whenever I call him. Because I care for him I find it difficult to let it go. I k now that I should care for ME, and don't get me wrong I DO.
But there is something about him that makes me crave him, I know that if he would allow himself to get close to me we could have a great relationship.
Maybe he knows it too? I don't know....
I could use some advice, however MOVING is NOT an option. My children and I are more than satisfied withour new dwelling and neighborhood, and I REFUSE to cut my nose off my face just to spite him.
I would be more open to other suggestions though. I'm not sure if there are any logical explanations for his behavior.

Basically, you needed a place to live...he had a place to rent. You were readily available for sex without commitment or obligation...and I'm sure if he wants that again, he'll surely attempt to avail himself of the privilege.
He MIGHT have realized once you moved in that you were "wanting more" than just sex and friendship with no obligation...and so he has rethought the sex without obligation part and realizes he'd rather have a good paying tenant...than a bed buddy.
But he never anted to date or have a relationship - if he had - he'd have pursued that just as surely as he pursued "just sex".
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
I DIDN'T NEED A PLACE TO LIVE, I HAD A PLACE TO LIVE ALREADY.
#2 HE KNEW FROM THE DOOR THAT I WANTED A RELATIONSHIP, WELL AND LONG BEFORE HE EVER ASKED ME ABOUT MOVING.
It is very easy to generalize, however this is not a situation where I think it is warranted. I feel like I was mislead to a certain point. By his aloofness, and also by his failure to verbalize that he didn't care for me, when I asked.
Whether or not I was available to him for sex is irrelevent to the fact that I feel like he owes me some closure.
Before I'd be able to respond...I'd need to ask a question.
Does this happen alot? In a variety of situations? Where you state what it is you want and expect...and then it doesn't result and that is in your estimation, the other person's fault - you've been misled or used?
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com