He left..... For the wrong reasons

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
He left..... For the wrong reasons
2
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 2:27am
I was dating this guy after his wife left him for another man. We was happy and did everything together, he even asked me to move in with him. His wife divorced him, but once she found out he asked me to move in with him she started telling him she wanted him back and when he told her no she told him she was going to get a lawyer and fight him for the kids, she was also living with the guy she had left him for and they seemed happy, actuly the man she left him for was my ex-husband. I was happy for both of them. Me and the guy I was with had never meet until they got together and we found that we enjoyed one another. So anyways, like I was saying she started useing the kids against him and then one day out of the blue I called him from work and he said, I've got some weird news and he tells me he is going to let her move back in and I was floored, we had just spent the night together and made plans for that coming weekend.

Now they are back together and I am still very close to his family and they tell me he is not the same person he was when he was with me, he is drinking all the time and not a joker like he once was, he even quite his job. I worry about him! We talked a few times after they got back together and he told me he wanted to stay friends, but now she has turned him against me and I'm not sure why and how. All I know is she is still talking to my ex-husband and wanting him back too. Please someone tell me what they think. I miss him like crazy and am still very much in love with him. Do you think he is happy now that he is back with her?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 3:31am
Ok, she started living with your ex husband and you started seeing her ex husband? She got with your ex husband, you got with hers, and now she wants him back again, and he has gone back?

Do I think he's happy? I wonder if ANY of you were or are happy at all.

You haven't mentioned a timeline in all of this, but it all sounds a bit toxic and all too complicated to me. I feel sorry for the kids that are caught up in all of this. Has anyone even considered the consequences there?

I've actually seen this situation before, firsthand (my ex's brother and his wife, and their best friends) and it ended in tears and anger - with a ripple effect through the whole of two previously very solid families.

I'd separate myself from all three of them and try to start my life anew in a happier, healthier environment. Your responsibility is to you and your kids.

Best of luck to you.

Eve

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 7:36am
I totally agree.

Be relieved that you aren't involved in this triangle any longer. Whether its the right or wrong reasons, it is not for you to say, he has children and he's where he is choosing to be.

Move on. This isn't healthy.